I was sure we were going to lose our Dolly.
We didn’t, and for that I will forever be grateful.
That doesn’t mean that the unease, the feeling of being, well, off balance, is going to go away overnight. I have to own the idea that this is going to take some getting used to. At first, I thought it was just the Oxygen, now I think it’s more than that. I think I’m getting used to the idea that we might have our girl for a long time to come. The thought of that is a very welcome change, but a change, nonetheless. Thinking about a future that you weren’t sure you were going to have is quite a difference.
Life is settled, without so much wondering and worrying. I think that has me feeling a little odd. It’s almost like living life on pure adrenaline and then being exhausted when the trauma finally ends. You have to find a way to adjust. I’m doing that slowly.
I’m thinking a lot about what the next ten years will be like for Dolly. That’s new for me. Prior to her surgery, I tried not to think about anything past tomorrow. We got used to living for today. I’m thankful that has changed. Tomorrow…here we come.
who likes the idea of a long future very, very much.