I am entering these posts into the blog during the summer of 2021.  These entries were taken from handwritten journals that I kept during our first adoptions.  We had a failed adoption from Guatemala at the end of 2002.  Cam entered our lives in the very first days of 2003 through domestic adoption, quite a bit of pain was endured during that time.  If only I had known then what I know now.  

When we started the adoption process we were told that Guatemala was moving SO fast.  We would have a referral within 6-8 weeks, and that our referral would likely be a newborn boy (more people want girls).  We have been waiting SIX MONTHS.  It seems so unfair.  We are ready to go.  We have been married 18 months and would make great parents.  I couldn’t understand why this is taking so long.

But, today, we have a referral.  We have a little GIRL!  I know!!! And, she is NOT a newborn.  She is seven months old.  Also, she has minor special needs.  Joe and I both feel comfortable with that.  I am a pediatric nurse.  I feel like these delays are so minor.  What could happen?  We named her Madelin Ana.  I know! After all that arguing about boys names, we have a girl, and a name came to us like nothing.  We are calling her Madi.

We found out about her on June 21st.  Since then we haven’t been able to get an official referral from our agency because of the unclear health reports.  Joe was able to read them all in Spanish, but they need to officially translate them.  That is taking forever.  We translated them ourselves and took them to the International Adoption doctor to look over.  The doctor had some questions about her development, but we felt like she was being overly negative.  This is a baby after all!  How can they possibly know?  She bears weight on her legs and is starting to babble.  These are all GREAT signs to me.

I alternate back and forth between being sad that she might be SO old by the time we go get her (they’re predicting she’ll be around 16 months old) and feeling so excited that maybe we have FINALLY got something started.

I guess, overall, I’m glad that she won’t remember this time spent without us.

I’ve spent kept pretty busy preparing her room.  I’m saving all my pennies now to buy lots of cute clothes and souvenirs from our trip to Guatemala when we do go.  I might even pick up an extra shift or two at the hospital to help with that.

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