A Meeting With Our Social Worker

I am entering these posts into the blog during the summer of 2021.  These entries were taken from handwritten journals that I kept during our first adoptions.  We had a failed adoption from Guatemala at the end of 2002.  Cam entered our lives in the very first days of 2003 through domestic adoption, quite a bit of pain was endured during that time.  If only I had known then what I know now.  

I couldn’t write before now because the last few weeks have been awful.  Madi’s DNA testing hasn’t cleared the Embassy in Guatemala, and we couldn’t get answers as to why.  The agency kept telling us not to question them, that we have to have mutual trust.  Our Social Worker recommended this agency.  She says they are very ethical.  So, should we trust them?

Joe thinks that’s garbage.  We have spent $20,000 here.  That is everything we have.  We saved for two and a half years to have that money.  He is panicked that they’re not being honest.  They won’t let us speak to our lawyer in Guatemala.

After much prayer, Joe called the U.S. embassy in Guatemala to check on our adoption case.

We were shocked.

No paperwork has been submitted.  Our daughter’s birth mother is not a Guatemalan citizen.  She is from El Salvador.  The embassy feels our lawyer is not being honest.  They have concerns about him trafficking children from El Salvador over the border into Guatemala for international adoption.

We didn’t know what to do.  So, we called our Social Worker.  She was SO angry that we had made that call.  She said there was an explanation for all of this, she was sure of it.  She demanded we meet in person on Friday.  After a long meeting, she told us we don’t have any mutual trust left.  She asked us if we wanted to continue this adoption.  We told her we were so stunned by the news from the embassy that we don’t know what to think.

She has told us that if we decide to end this adoption, then that is our choice, but that she will then require we do six months of couples therapy for our anxiety, because we are obviously not ready for the adoption process, and the uncertainties that come with it.  It would be another 18-24 months then before we could be parents!  She would require that we do our home study ALL OVER!!! We are devastated.

But, Madi’s birth mom is from El Salvador.  That doesn’t feel right?  We would need her papers to go through the embassy there too.  And, I want answers as to why she placed her in Guatemala?  Was she trafficked?  What is happening?

Joe wants to continue, but only if he is allowed to have direct communication with both embassies now.  I’m not sure they’ll allow that.

We might be losing our daughter.

We were so upset, we felt like we needed to get away for awhile.  Away from the house, with her nursery in it.  We are at a hotel in Minneapolis.  We’re spending the weekend in the city, enjoying the sites and just trying to escape this nightmare.

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