Why some days are rough.

So, if you didn’t catch the news flash…we’re adopting again. Yes, yes, we’ll have five children…yes, that’s a lot, blah, blah. These are the comments that we get when we tell people, which we haven’t, because of the comments. Well, you see, I guess. I’ve told you all though, so that’s someone. We’re just waiting for the adoption decree and then I’ll tell our family. They love all of our kids immensely, once they get here. The process is hard for them to understand though. It’s not like a pregnancy, there are no outward signs. Just my hopefulness, and FPD’s excitement. It’s hopefulness and excitement that we only share with each other.

Can I tell you another secret? I don’t like to wait. Waiting and adoption, well, they’re kind of like peas and carrots. So, you’ll hear me complain. A LOT. But, that’s kind of what this is here for. I want to show our kids the blog and they’ll realize how loved they are, even when they weren’t here yet. Plus, I throw in some funny/embarassing stories (I think GigantoBaby’s first girlfriend will REALLY love the Zulu Fighting Spoon story. See below). Our dossier is sitting here. It’s just sitting here. I hate that. It’s calling to me like the tell tale heart (well, kind of, I’m not a murderer and it’s not beating). I want it gone. Then it would feel like forward motion. I hate standing still. Other families are standing still too. They’ve been waiting a lot longer then we have. I can see that, then I start to feel guilty. Why am I so anxious? Other people get to go first, pray for them. Oh, the guilt. Then I feel scared, what if we wait like they do? For no known reason really, just because you’re at the control of some other government (or a birthmom, or a social worker, or whoever). Then I get angry. Why should we have to wait? We should anyone who is adopting have to wait? We just want to open a really good, loving home to a child who needs us as much as we need them. Why is this so hard? It shouldn’t take this long!!! Then…we’re back to anxious and impatient. It’s kind of like giving a mouse a cookie . Oh, the vicious cycle. That is what makes adoption so hard.

–FullPlateMom

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