I’ve scrubbed a lot of poop in my time. First as an assistant preschool teacher, then as a peds nurse, now as a mom. I also buy our kids a lot of clothes. I take pride in how they dress (and…I love to shop). I usually find good deals. Occasionally, for holidays or really special events, I’ll buy something that’s not on sale. Just because I love it or I want all the kids to be color coordinated and this item is JUST the perfect thing. Very occasionally, this item will mean a real splurge. A splurge that means that I spend less on my own clothes. The first Christmas we had kids was the BEST example of this. I had ResponsiBoy and Middle-Middle in the CUTEST little sweater vests and cargo khakis from Gap Kids. That’s right, the mecca of all things cute. As his own little Christmas miracle, Middle-Middle decided to produce the largest mess in his pants that I have ever seen. It was Christmas Eve, he still needed that outfit for Christmas Day. Remember, I’m no shrinking violet when it comes to poop. But, this was worse then some of the chemo poop I’ve dealt with. I’m not kidding, it was that bad. As I was scrubbing the aforementioned disgusting mess out of the overpriced tiny khaki pants, at 11pm, on Christmas Eve, FPD came down stairs and entered the laundry room. He dropped his dirty clothes into the laundry bin. I looked at him, my eyes watering from the stink, and said quietly “it burns” (referring to the smell, and only kidding). Without missing a beat he said “What burns? The stink? Or the fact that you’re scrubbing poop out of teeny tiny pants that cost you more than your whole outfit?” I was sad for about one second and then we both busted a gut laughing. After all, I had waited YEARS to scrub poop out of teeny tiny pants. I still have those teeny tiny pants, minus the poop, of course.