I’ve lost too many months to count to the holding pattern that is adoption. We’re in it again. I hate it. I’m trying to plan our annual August vacation. Should I buy plane tickets? Maybe THAT will be the week that we need to go get GhanaGirl. I would hope that we are ready to go before that, but we may not be. But, how do I talk to the kids about not going to Disney Land? We promised. And what if she is home and she’s just as naughty as she was in Ghana. Will she ruin the whole thing? Not because she means to, but because she just needs time to adjust. It’s so hard, all these decisions are so hard. This holding pattern is so hard. And, it hasn’t been that long. Our dossier got to Ghana on March 31. At the end of May, we will be halfway to the projection of how long this process will take. The projection is just that, a projection, there are no guarantees.
We feel like we’re not done adding to our family either. But, this process is taking its toll on me this time. This will be the fifth time we’ve done this in six years. That’s a lot of holding patterns. Can we do it again? Should we do it again? This is just compounding the stress, knowing that we need to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and head back into the abyss when GhanaGirl finally does make her entrance into our family, if we want to do this again. We want her to have a shared culture within our family. We don’t want her to be the only Ghanaian. Silly, but important to us. Rules will change in Ghana eventually, and they won’t get easier, I see it happening already. Will we have any fight left in us to adopt again? I hope so. But, right now, it’s hard to imagine. So, we’re taking it one day, one step, at a time.