When Life is on Hold.

I’ve lost too many months to count to the holding pattern that is adoption. We’re in it again. I hate it. I’m trying to plan our annual August vacation. Should I buy plane tickets? Maybe THAT will be the week that we need to go get GhanaGirl. I would hope that we are ready to go before that, but we may not be. But, how do I talk to the kids about not going to Disney Land? We promised. And what if she is home and she’s just as naughty as she was in Ghana. Will she ruin the whole thing? Not because she means to, but because she just needs time to adjust. It’s so hard, all these decisions are so hard. This holding pattern is so hard. And, it hasn’t been that long. Our dossier got to Ghana on March 31. At the end of May, we will be halfway to the projection of how long this process will take. The projection is just that, a projection, there are no guarantees.

We feel like we’re not done adding to our family either. But, this process is taking its toll on me this time. This will be the fifth time we’ve done this in six years. That’s a lot of holding patterns. Can we do it again? Should we do it again? This is just compounding the stress, knowing that we need to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and head back into the abyss when GhanaGirl finally does make her entrance into our family, if we want to do this again. We want her to have a shared culture within our family. We don’t want her to be the only Ghanaian. Silly, but important to us. Rules will change in Ghana eventually, and they won’t get easier, I see it happening already. Will we have any fight left in us to adopt again? I hope so. But, right now, it’s hard to imagine. So, we’re taking it one day, one step, at a time.

–FullPlateMom

2 thoughts on “When Life is on Hold.

  1. *HUG* I’m right there with you. I can’t say I’ve been through it before, like you have, but I can definitely say it’s not much fun now. IT’s such a maddening feeling, and powerless — that there’s nothing you can do to make things go any faster or smoother or -better-.After all of the classes and online courses and everything we’ve had to do, it’s like I want to say, “ENOUGH already! The rest we can only actually learn by LIVING it, so please just let us move on to the next step?!”Y’all are welcome down here anytime for a mini-getaway; 6 Flags has rollercoasters and a water park. 😀

  2. I could have written every word from a slightly different perspective, but with the same frustration. All in the Lord’s time, right? I just wish we could see the calendar He uses!I’m kind of looking forward to an unplanned summer this year, but I don’t think the kids share my enthusiasm. No camps, no summer enrichment at school, and (thank goodness) sports and school are all done in two weeks. They will probably mutiny sometime mid-June.

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