A tiny ray of hope.

The clouds cleared a bit yesterday, and slowly Bubbles is finding her way through the fog of trauma. I’m so proud of her, what an amazingly brave little girl. As we were sitting in my overstuffed chair last night, cuddling and giggling, she asked to see her “photos”. She wanted to see photos of Ghana. I showed them to her. Previously, she would point at herself and say “GhanaGirl” (only she would use her given name). She would point at pictures of herself in the U.S. and say “Bubbles” (using the new name we have given her). I pointed to a picture of her lying on the ground in Ghana, hair all over the place, dress dirty and said “GhanaGirl”. “No, I Bubbles” she responded. Alrighty. I laughed and said “crazy girl”, because this is what they affectionately nicknamed her at Lucky Hill. She looked very serious and said “I no like crazy girl. I Bubbles”. Hmmm….

It has been a couple of days since she looked at the photos. Already she is losing the names of some of her closest friends. Words in Fante are slipping away. She really is becoming Bubbles, an American girl. I am overjoyed that she is embracing us as her family, that she is starting to believe she will stay. But, for me, I am sad to see Ghana slipping away. I came to love Ghana, and that was where I met her. It’s so sad to watch the little things slip away, but it is probably necessary to make room for the new things that we are praying are yet to come.

I’m rejoicing heavily in the small miracles. She and GigantoBaby played with his African-American boy Cabbage Patch Kid for the entire afternoon yesterday. The playing was interspersed with squabbling, because they’re both three, and because Bubbles wants his baby to be a girl. Everyone knows that it would be an insult to GigantoBaby’s manhood to have a girl dolly. To see them interacting, at all, was a true miracle. GigantoBaby hadn’t played with his baby in about two months. But, now it was “his” and she was taking it. So, when Bubbles woke up from her nap, a new Cabbage Patch Kid was laying there next to her. A latina (no African-American in stock) girl, with silky hair that she can brush (a recent obsession of hers). We haven’t bought her much just for her yet, so a baby seemed appropriate. She got out of bed and showed it to FPD. “This a for ME?”. He told her it was, and because he is a great guy, he told her that I gave it to her and that she should say thank you. Not only did I get a thank you, but I got the world’s biggest hug to go with it. FPD and I smiled at each other, tears in our eyes. That hug will carry me through the fog that I’m sure will creep in and out for awhile. Today, we’re just going to celebrate the tiny ray of sunshine that found its way into our world.

who is off to tackle breakfast. She hates to cook. Do toaster waffles even count?

5 thoughts on “A tiny ray of hope.

  1. Thanks for posting this, Becky. 🙂 I had been feeling sad after reading your previous post – it’s good to see today was hope-providing. :)*HUG* Hang in there, Mama!!!–Shannon 🙂

  2. Wow, toaster waffles. Lilly pretty much wants porridge (instant oatmeal) or eggs for breakfast. every. single. day.Glad to hear an improvement. She is so normal and the adjustment you have described is so normal. Lilly is losing her Ghanaian ways now too, even her accent. Sad, but necessary for her to feel she fits in. I know it will continue to improve bit by bit!

  3. Oh, we’re hard boiled eggs for bubbles every day here as well. Toaster waffles are for the rest of the crew. We buy a dozen eggs and hard boil them every week in anticipation of that being the only source of protein Bubbles might have. Ah well.

  4. Beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes. Sincere and spontaneous hugs are wonderful. You are an amazing mother and Bubbles knows it. Oh how I wish I could bottle moments like these and open them again when I need them most.

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