We are teaching Bubbles that hugs shouldn’t hurt. My boys try to be very affectionate with her. In return, she hugs them until they can’t breathe. She doesn’t get it. She has been hugged by adults in her life, but affection from other children has been lacking in her life, especially affection from older children. She is constantly suspicious of my older boys. Gigantobaby put his hand on her back this morning while watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and she flipped. She was sure he was going to try something sneaky. “DON’T TOUCH A ME!!!!”. I tried to explain that Gigantobaby is just being loving to her. Then I hugged Gigantobaby who was now crying. Bubbles just looked at him like he had a third head. Why would you want to be lovey with me? She was SURE he had an ulterior motive that would end with a beating.
It hurts my heart that these have been her interactions. It hurts my heart that she is almost three and has rarely been shown brotherly or sisterly affection. So, along with the goals of ridding our family of the dreaded mini-fits, teaching Bubbles to trust us to provide her with her basic needs, we are also adding the goal of teaching Bubbles that she needs to give and receive gentle affection from other children.
So, for now, these are our main goals. I see progress every single day. Sometimes the fog of trauma creeps back in and clouds my vision of all the progress that has been made. But, today I see clearly. I see Bubbles for what she is, one funny little girl.
who loves smiles of tiny girls in pink.