Joy and Pain

And sunshine…and a little rain.   Thank God for the rain, because children, it is hot in Ghana.  I tell that to the kids every single time I’m here and I’m sweating like a pig while we blow bubbles of dance or do whatever we do.  They just laugh at me, as if to say “stupid obruni, of course Ghana is hot”.    The rain cooled the afternoon off to where it was bearable.  As I walked back from the local restaurant, I reveled in the coolness it was bringing me.  It brought a little clarity as well, clarity to what has been an amazing 24 hours. 
A little joy…
She is little, and her name happens to be Joy.  She is my shadow this trip.  Every trip a new child needs some love.  This time it’s her.  She is wonderful, beautiful and because she was BubblyGirl’s best friend, she is like a tiny little reminder of the love that waits for me at home.  While I’m here, I’ll take my joy where I can get it: small brown hands that reach up to feel my hair, 700 hugs from dusty arms and the amazing sound of two more children that call me “mom”.  I am very “lucky”. 
And pain…
I spoke with my children’s birth mom and listened to her explain the desperation that comes with not being able to feed your children.  Prior to my coming, from what I understand, they hadn’t eaten in three days, so that their baby brother could eat.  The children’s home can’t feed the children who can’t pay.  And, they don’t live there.  They can’t just move in either.  There just isn’t any room.  How am I supposed to help?  If I give her anything it looks like a bribe.  If I leave and they have no food, well, that just isn’t an alternative.  I’ve never seen such desperation.  I’ve never felt so desperate.  Can you imagine how she feels?  I can’t even weigh my options right now.  All I do is cry.  How in God’s name am I going to leave them here to this kind of life while I go home to wait for them? 
And sunshine…
I got to hand pictures over to one of the eldest boys here.  A boy that FPD and I have loved from the moment we met him.  Those pictures were of his new home in America.  I’ve never in my life seen so much light in anyone’s eyes.  It was the light of hope,  the light of possibility.  His smile outshone the blazing sun here, and it makes all the pain from earlier fade into the background. 
And rain..
Dear God,
Please make it rain tomorrow, just for a little while.
who is sweatier than ever before.

1 thought on “Joy and Pain”

  1. Ghana was even MORE hot this time? Thanks for sharing your feelings FPM. It’s REAL…and everyone needs to know how Ghana “feels”….you do such a wonderful job of putting your feelings into writing and sharing your thoughts with us. God is watching over you and your children. He will protect them…and comfort you and your family while you wait.


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