200 posts.

This is post number 200.  In a little over one month, this blog will have been up for one year.  That’s amazing to think about.  So much change, yet so far to go.

WHERE IS MY I-171H?!?

Sorry.  That’s how my thought process goes lately.  I’ll be talking about something else, anything else, and then all the sudden…

WHERE IS MY I-171H?!?

It’s hard to be motivated to do anything.  Right now I’m in the middle of Bubbly’s every 6 week “Braid Day” and I’ll momentarily let my mind wander to the grocery list, or my Grad School assignment, or Seth’s family.  Then all of the sudden…

WHERE IS MY I-171H?!?

Ugh.  It’s exhausting.  It happens in the middle of the night too.  6-7 times overnight I’ll wake up, look at the clock and think about the fact that my kids in Ghana are probably bathing in a bucket, putting on their school uniforms or sitting in their first class.  Then…

WHERE IS MY I-171H?!?

I hate it.  I hate myself for becoming bitter, I’m not happy about all the other things that are going well in my life.  It’s as if Seth’s family’s loss has made it so that I need my kids, and I feel like I need them NOW.  Life is fragile, there just isn’t reliable medical care in Ghana.  I’ve done everything I can though, emailed USCIS, written letters, called my Senator.  It’s just not happening.  Then I lose a little faith.  How sad that my faith is so fickle.

It’s like an endless exhausting rollercoaster that I can’t get off.    

–FullPlateMom,
who is getting motion sickness from the ups and downs of adoption.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. I’m so sorry Becky…I know how you feel!! I remember. It’s awful…waiting, wondering..waiting, more wondering. It consumes your life….until it comes, then it’s on to the next thing. Hang in there!

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  2. It just plain bites. Sorry, but I can’t think of a better word for the waiting. I understand your feelings of wanting them home NOW. I feel like that, and I don’t even have anyone waiting for me in Ghana (that I know of yet). I just want them all to be safe. I want to know for sure that nothing will happen to those precious children who still wait for a family. I (and many others, I’m sure) want a re-do of this whole week. Praying for you and for your GhanaDuo.

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  3. It’s going to be okay. Today will be over….”it’s Friday, but Sunday is coming. Sunday, hallelujah, it’s not so far away.” We will all breathe a sigh of relief as the next kids go home – SF’s is going home next week, then yours-KB’s-etc. will come quickly behind. I can only think that our God will be merciful enough to let those things happen quickly.

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  4. Kara Busath says:

    I’m with you – where’s Becky’s I-171H???

    Like

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