The potty.

Maybe this is just too much information, but since I know of no one personally in this situation, I’m just going to ask.  It’s Bubbly.  We have been trying FOR MONTHS to get her to consistently use the potty.  I knew this would be work because she had never used one before coming to the U.S.  In Ghana, you pee on the ground.  If you’re Bubbly, you peed where you stood.  Gross, but we’re being real here.

So, I put her in a Pull-Up when she came home.  She would pee in it and then immediately want it off.  For awhile, we did it.  Then she became more obvious about it, she would tell us before she peed it and would pee in her Pull-up when she was angry…”I’m peeing myself NOW!!!!”.  So, we put her in underwear.  The first few weeks were multiple accidents per day.  I used a reward system like I did for all the other kids.  Stickers, M & Ms, etc.  She responded well.  She still has the occasional temper tantrum and tells me she’s peeing herself, she still has the occasional genuine accident too (she’s three).  So, we just deal with those by telling her that she is a big girl and she should try really hard to tell us when she has to go.  The end.

Here’s my issue.  During nap time (and at night), I put a Pull-Up on her because the girl sleeps like a rock.  A herd of elephants could stomp through here and she wouldn’t notice.  But, lately, she will get the Pull-up on, lie in bed for about 15 minutes, pee in it and then want a new Pull-up.  It’s become like a ritual.  The bathroom that she uses all day is 10 feet away.  Seriously, RIGHT next door.  It doesn’t matter if I have her go right before bed.  The girl finds the 10ccs of pee she has left in her bladder and squeezes it out.  I could put her on a waterproof quilted pad and just let her go, but is that just gross?  I figure eventually she’ll learn to get up and use the toilet.  Is this a behavioral thing or is her bladder development just not there yet?  This is where I need other parents to speak up.

–FullPlateMom,
who is SO over “pampers”.

9 Comments Add yours

  1. My two year old is doing the same thing. Normally I am more ambitious and have by kids potty trained by now but I haven’t been home for three straight days. WE did try it and have so many accidents in WALMART, PAINT STORE, THIRFT STORE so I gave up until I have a whole week to dedicate to it. At night she’s been doing the same thought. We will have her go to the bathroom before bed and she will then she will pee within mins it seems sometimes and she wants a new one because she can’t stand the wetness. I wish I could help. The only good thing for us is it isn’t every night just every couple here and there. I will have to check back and see what good advice you get so I can use it also 🙂 Good luck!

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  2. Rachel does that too, and she’ll be 3.5 in April. She is dry during a nap 75% of the time, so we just use the pull-ups at bedtime at night – but she does the same thing where she’ll put it on, pee in it, and then ask for another. Her bathroom is right around the corner. Beats me!!!

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  3. I may be mean, but I think if a child is aware that they are *going to* pee, they should be able to do it in the toilet and not in their pants. Peeing in her sleep is a different story. My boys all sleep like rocks and were not dry at night for many months after daytime dryness. I also had a “willful wetter,” who would wet her pants if she was mad at me, if she wanted something and didn’t get it, if she was bored with grocery shopping and wanted to leave, didn’t want to take a nap, etc. I am sure someone will be on the phone to CPS in a second, because after playing the game for about 6 months, I started leaving her wet and going about my business whenever possible. Not for hours but long enough to get the point across that I was calling her bluff, so to speak. She peed on her favorite sparkly shoes and I threw them away. Her special blanket got wet and it went into the laundry for the rest of the day. MAJOR drama. It seems to me that Bubbly knows exactly what she is doing but I am no expert. Have her change herself as long as nothing “solid” is involved. Take away the pretty panties and make her earn them back by staying dry for X days. What would she think of wearing boys undies? Elena flipped her lid when she had to wear Spiderman undies once because she wet herself and that was all I had in the car to change her into until we got home. It was the last time she did it, though! Conveniently “run out” of Pull-Ups for a few days and see what happens. For what it’s worth, I tried all of these with E and I’m still not sure whether she won, or I did. But she stopped wetting the bed and her pants at about 3.5 years old. Now she pushes my other buttons instead!

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  4. A. Gillispie says:

    I know someone who swears by the “naked” method. When she wants to train one of her kids, they go bottomless until they are trained. Usually takes less than a week (she has 10 kids). That worked beautifully for day training my kids. I haven’t worked on day training with Kendy yet (2.5). Bright is day trained, but during a nap he will purposely POOP! I’m meaner than the mommy above because I have finally hit my limit. I make him undress himself, poor the poop in the toliet, “scrub” the undies in the toilet, put him in a shower that is *conveniently* cold at the start, and then make him wash the poop off himself. He HATES the shower. He doesn’t care if he lays in poop or pee for hours on end so that won’t work for him. But if I had a kid who didn’t like to be wet I would TOTALLY make them lay in it if they wet on purpose (through a nap)!Anita

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  5. A. Gillispie says:

    Okay, I totally just spelled my own kids’ name incorrectly! ACK! Kendi!

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  6. Shannan says:

    I totally posted a long post but I don’t see it here? Maybe you removed it?? I still have issues with our daughter for sure so don’t think this comment shows anything awesome about me! It was just something that happened to work for us. But the whole punishing thing is totally lost on Ruby. She’d had enough of that in Ghana. She needed to be loved and babied so that’s what I did. I put her in diapers and told her it was for me…that I was sad I didn’t get to have her as a baby. Whenever she peed I’d be like “Great! Yeah! I get to change your diaper!” She LOVED it and we had really good face time and attention and trust when I changed her diapers. She got over her toilet issues in a few weeks and was using the toilet in no time. Maybe when Bubbly says I’m peeing myself you can say oh good! Now I get to change your diaper and spend time with you. Then it can’t be a bad thing for you to her anymore. I know it takes WAY more patience than we have and is irritating and expensive and we think GEEZ just be normal already, but the truth is, their relationship with us isn’t normal. And they need to feel more compassion and love and be babied more than they need to be punished. It IS absolutely different than a child you raised from birth. The more I baby and give compassion to my daughter the faster she becomes independent and happy. do you hate me for saying that? I am a total mess in most things so don’t think I am all rainbows and sunshine mommy! but this happened to work for us!!good luck!

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  7. Maybe just give her (and yourself!) a break for a week or two. Change her when she wants, but stop nagging her or mentioning potty at all, even if she needs to be in diapers day and night. With all the other things she has to learn about and deal with, it might be easier for her to just not have to worry about this one. Also, keep in mind that she’s not going to grow up and not be potty trained. You can back off, and like the above mommy said, just give her some extra love and cuddles instead of more punishment, or eye-rolling, or irritation. Someone once told me to “pretend that I’m having fun with my kids until it’s true.” I’m not very good at it, and get as irritated and angry as every other mom when my kids start hitting each other in the head with their shoes, but when I do remember, things go a lot better! The reason you have kids is to make you, and them, HAPPY! Don’t make things harder on yourself than you need to! 🙂

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  8. The little tidbit I forgot to mention is our daughter loves to decided she has to go to the bathroom at night onces she’s laid down. I will let her go, she will always go however then she will go up to bed, be in there for 5-15 mins and come out complaining she peed and needs a new diaper. I think she does all she can to squeeze it out to avoid going to bed! Kids what won’t they do?

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  9. One of the twins does the same thing. She used to wet herself whenever she was in timeout. So, I started making her use the toilet, THEN put her in timeout. She stopped doing that. I’ll admit I lost my temper with her when I would see a wet spot on the carpet while she was in timeout and yelled at her. I always made her clean up her own messes including doing the laundry part. (I re-cleaned the carpet after she was gone and didn’t see.)At night when I would put a pull-up on her she would use it as the toilet when she was still awake instead of walking the 10 feet to the toilet. She doesn’t care that it is wet though and would wet in it 2 or 3 times and not care. She loves Toy Story, so the other day I promised her I would buy her Toy Story underwear if she stayed dry at night for a week. She has stayed dry 3 nights in a row so far. So I think her bladder is fine, she is just lazy. Two of the mornings, I checked her, she was dry and I gave her stickers, then a few minutes later when I help her get dressed, it is wet. ARGGHJust wanted to let you know you are not alone!!! Good luck! 🙂

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