Preparing Her.

Bubbly’s story is Bubbly’s story.  But, just so that you’re up to speed, when I went to Ghana to bring home the Duo, I learned A LOT about Bubbly’s life before she came to us.  It turned out not to be at all what I thought it was.  It was a miserable little existence.  She was neglected and abused by people I thought actually cared about her.  Had I known these things about her past, I would have parented her A LOT differently.  I have my own guilt to work through for not seeing the signs staring me in the face.  But, the bottom line is, Bubbly and I are doing some hard work to deal with the abuse she has endured. Now that you’re up to speed…

Our little Bubbly had a rough day today.  Giggles got her hair braided, so she wanted hers done.  We spent all day yesterday braiding it.  Giggles got her toenails painted, she wanted hers done too.  We spent tonight giving out pedicures.  Giggles beams, she tells me how happy she is.  Bubbly feels the focus shifting off of her, she starts to decompensate, she starts to act out (because ANY attention is better than NO attention when you’ve been neglected in the past).  So, she sat outside my door and peeled off all her pink toenail polish.  It was a huge mess.  As I asked her to help me clean it up she began to scream and kick.  When this happens she is asked to rock it out with me, we sit in a chair and rock until she calmed down.  It was late too, so I know she was SUPER tired.  I set her down on her bed and went to get her a Pull-Up.  I came back and she was sitting on her bed in a growing pile of synthetic hair.  She was painfully ripping out all the braids she spent forever getting put in.  I have no idea how she did it without really hurting herself, but she did.  I believe in natural consequences, so I told her that she wouldn’t be able to keep the rest of the braids because it all looked really silly now.  She was really upset.  

I’m upset for her.  She loves these things.  She wants pink toenails and long princess hair.  She wants to be a regular 3-year-old girl.  But, her anger gets the better of her and she destroys the things she loves.  I hurt for her.  My heart breaks for her.  She knows she’s different.  She knows she can’t control herself like the other kids can.  She knows she’s missing out on things because of her actions.   A lot of times, I’ll look at her and wonder why.  Why does any child have to endure this?  Why did this have to happen to her?  Why is God doing this?  Why won’t He just heal her pain?  Why is He making her bear this cross?  Tonight, after a VERY rough day of wondering why, this arrived in my inbox…  


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God must be making our Bubbly carry this huge cross so that she can make it across that huge chasm later on.  He had a plan for her when He brought her into our home.  I can’t bear to think of it any other way.


–FullPlateMom,
who will walk right beside her Bubbly, for as long as it takes, to help lighten her load.  

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Becky, I couldn’t get the pictures to load :(Sorry Bubbly had such a rough day. I am glad you now know her past and will be able to move forward in the direction you know she needs. Please don’t feel guilty, you had no way of knowing! I know you, now that you know you will make all the changes needed to parent you beautiful bubbly! Your a wonderful mom, I love and appreciate your example everyday!

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  2. Lois says:

    Oh my girls, I wish I could give you both a hug. She will over come her passed because you are her mother and you are aware and willing to do whatever it takes. She will learn to love herself because you love her.

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  3. When I read this I actually got teary eyed. I know this is so hard for her and for you….for everyone. I really think the analogy of the cross was perfect…and of the stones…only a couple hit us and we complain, Jesus takes all of the hits with the rest of the stones. It’s so true. I’m thinking about you guys and hoping today is a better day. 🙂

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  4. You sound like your doing well with all of it. So sorry 😦 Thank you for the reminder that turning our eyes upon Jesus is the only answer.(PS. couldn’t get the photo’s to upload).I will be praying for you all.Tami

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