Thank you to everyone who sent our little Giggles best wishes on her first day of school. She did great!! Because of her vocabulary, or lack thereof, and her inability to rhyme she tested into “beginning” ELL. Whatever, I’m not all that concerned with labels, and it gets her one on one in the classroom help. She is at grade level (or near) for reading. Math is a little harder. She is WONDERFUL with math facts, but if you ask her how she got the answer she just stares at you. That’s because she doesn’t know how to calculate the answer, she has just memorized it. So, we’ll have to undo that. She’s doing great with our at-home lessons on phonetic awareness. And, each day I’ve been going into school to pull her out during reading time to work with her. Otherwise, they just let her sit and “listen” to books on tape. I understand they think that will improve her language acquisition, but I would rather she actually had practice reading. So, I’m in there every single day with her. Here’s where the rant on gratitude begins.
She’s an ungrateful pain in my you-know-what. I’m not saying she should be grateful that I go to school every day to read with her. Again, whatever, educating her is my job. It is NOT my job, however, to make sure she has beautiful clothes or fashionable hair. Kiss it. You can do your own hair and wear whatever you like. We’ve got a HUGE case of the “gimmes” here. “Gimme that!”. “I need new jeans. I don’t like these”. Are you KIDDING ME?!? Do you remember where you lived three weeks ago? UGH!!!!!
Ask me where her pics are from the first day of school. I’ll show you. Are you ready? Here we go.
Yes, that’s it. She wouldn’t even look at the camera or acknowledge me. I figured she was embarrassed to be the only one having a “first day”. Even though we spent nearly 8 hours doing her hair and she had a brand new outfit, I didn’t flinch when she totally ignored my goodbye and walked away like she didn’t know me. Ahhh, to be a mom, it truly is the most thankless job in the world.
Fast forward to three days later. Thursdays are my days to go to school, volunteer in the KG room (with M-M) and then eat lunch with all the kids. I told her I would come and eat lunch with her. She shrugged. Alright then. See you at 11:30am. So, I did my volunteering, I read with Giggles, even though she never looked at me and wouldn’t answer my questions about her day. Then, I went to lunch. KG and 1st graders eat together first. Here is ResponsiBoy and M-M, proud and happy to eat with mom.
I know they have been in my home for a lot longer. But, when I went to eat lunch with Giggles, she completely ignored me. I had brought her a Happy Meal. When I gave it to her, she snatched it and then practically threw the Chicken Nuggets back at me. So you don’t like these? She just made a foul face and shook her head. I had a lovely chat with the other girls in her class. They like to read Ivy and Bean and play tag at recess. Giggles apparently likes to play mute, because that’s what she did the entire lunch. Then when the bell rang, she ran away. I said “Bye. See you later!” to her back as she headed outside. She only came back in to tell me that I didn’t send her to school with “things for her hands”. I can only assume she meant mittens. So, I did the mature thing and shrugged and walked away. She stared at my back, mouth agape, as I walked out of the lunch room and out of the school.
I sent FPD to pick her up. I figured it was better for someone less emotional to talk to her about how other people have feelings too. She didn’t care. Again, I did the mature thing and didn’t speak to her all evening. She was mature in return and didn’t speak to me. I went to work, she cried a little. FPD told her to find me when I came home and tell me how she felt. I went in to kiss her goodnight, she rolled over in bed and acted like I had a communicable illness. She woke up this morning and asked FPD when I would do her hair. He told her that I was taking a shower. She was appalled. She asked who would help her choose “good American clothes” and “help her with her hair”. She asked him to do it. He told her he had no idea how and that she was better off on her own. She pouted. He told her to go ask me for help. She just shrugged. She went to school with hideous hair and unmatched clothes. And, because I’m very mature, I hope people laugh at her.
Am I a terrible person? And, how hard do I push this? I can’t live with a hideous monster who thinks she runs the place with her mood swings and demands. I won’t tolerate disrespect. I know she has only been home three weeks, but when do we stop excusing this as “new child” behavior and start making her tow the line. ShyGuy has committed many a violation of the rules and he will cry on his bed during his time out and then come back upstairs, look the person in the eye and tell them sorry. She absolutely WILL NOT apologize. The words must taste like vinegar coming out of her mouth, because she would rather just not speak. And, I know she just views me as someone she can get things from. Nice hair, new clothes, a manicure. Then, she’s done with me. When do I stop doing those things? When do I tell her that’s not the way it works, that in this world you only get these kinds of luxuries with kindness and respect, that it isn’t your God given right to have beautiful hair and a manicure. Is it too soon?