AJ, Ally

Better Days.

I got some very good advice from here.  And, I like to read about her experiences too.  I have some good support systems.  I’m currently reading a book called “When a Stranger Calls You Mom”.  Love it.

I don’t think my daughter has RAD.  She was extremely attached to her “Ghana Mom”.  I think she is grieving for her.  In fact, she told FPD that she is.  She misses her little half-brother too.  She misses Ghana.  As much as I considered it a horrible dirt hole, it was her horrible dirt hole.  Giggles and, to some extent, ShyGuy are afraid to love me because they “have” a mom already.  Well, they did.  I need to remember that when I feel hurt.  As long as I had to adjust to the idea, they had no clue what coming here would mean.  They thought the idea was great, the reality, not so much.  I think being enrolled in school made Giggles realize that she wasn’t EVER going back.  This is permanent.  I think she kind of needed to realize that so that she could grieve openly.  She did.

She finds it easier to write about her feelings then to say them out loud (I find it much easier as well).  So, she wrote me a card and handed it to me when I came home from work on Saturday.  It’s a little pink card from the stationary set that we bought for her to write to her LH friends.  She hadn’t wanted to open it.  The card read “Mama, I’m so sorry that I hurt your feelings.  Thank you for bringing me McDonald’s.  I do love you very much”.  I asked FPD if he had coached her.  He said absolutely not, that he hadn’t even seen her write it.  While he had asked her if writing how she felt would be easier for her, and she agreed, the actual card was all her.  I’m proud of her.  I made sure to tell her so.  We’re finding our way back to each other now.  Slowly, but surely, we’re becoming less and less strangers and more a family.

who feels good things coming.

1 thought on “Better Days.”

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