Date Night.

FPD haven’t been on a “date” in as long as I can remember.  Yesterday was an especially hard day.  While finding Comfort again was a silver lining, the rest of the day was a really dark cloud.  My kids are doing GREAT.  We’ve made great strides with Giggles and ShyGuy.  I think they’re really starting to feel part of an intact family (I’ve GOT to give it up for their birthmom, who built a VERY strong foundation).  The kids that came before have totally embraced them as siblings.  We’re becoming a family.  It amazes me.

Bubbly is making progress, and we have a diagnosis now.  She officially has PTSD and Hyposensitive Vestibular Processing Disorder.  It’s apparently a form of Sensory Integration Disorder, probably from being starved of any sort of sensory input while she was being abused (usually by locking her in dark rooms for long periods) in Ghana, and then flooded with new sensory input when she got here.  So, I guess she CRAVES sensory input.  Bubbly can’t walk without grabbing your hand so she can hop on one foot.  She can sit and do a task or watch a TV program, but unless things are structured (or she’s constantly receiving input) she can’t just entertain herself.  And, sleep is incredibly difficult.   She now sleeps with a special weighted blanket.  Some of it she’ll grow out of, some of it we’ll learn to teach her to deal with, some of it will just always be her.  I don’t love “diagnoses”, but it will help her get help in our community, so we’ll go with it.  And, they didn’t diagnose her with Autism of ADHD which I know she doesn’t have.  But, it still stinks.  It added to an already crappy day.

Then, there’s Ghana.  The phone calls keep coming.  The creepy ones have stopped, thank goodness.  But, the concerned ones continue.  Rightfully so, the situation is difficult.  But, a lot of great people are helping. And, I hope to have some very good news very soon.  I see light.  Maybe it will disappear again, but I continue to hope.  It is just SO time consuming.  Hopefully, it will all be worth it.

Work.  I mean the job that pays me.  It has been put on the back burner for far too long.  It needs attention, in a major way.  FPD is helping me make more time to get back on track.  But, he decided we needed a night just for us.  So, he arranged for a babysitter and took me out for one of these.

I haven’t had a drink since last year, before I went to Ghana for the first time.  Man, it tasted good.  It will probably be another year before I find time for another one.  
Then we ate some of this.  I love salsa!!!  Then, he had them bring out this…
Tres Leches Cake.  MMMMMM…
who hearts her husband.  

5 thoughts on “Date Night.

  1. oh FPM…the diagnosis. Yes it is nice to put a name on things so you can get help and focus your energies into a certain area, but it also is hard to label them isn’t it? I hope she really gets help so that she can feel relaxed. I don’t know anything about her life before she came to you, but from this post alone it made me very sad. GOod luck with your sweet girl.

  2. Both of our twins have Sensory Integration Disorder. They are “seekers” too. They seek input from many areas, including vestibular. I was wondering if maybe they were autistic, but all the pieces weren’t there. I wondered about ADHD, but again, I didn’t see all the signs. Then my brother, who’s son is autistic told me about Sensory Integration/Processing Disorder and all the pieces fell perfectly into place. It has been a challenge, especially with Sierra who has to taste EVERYTHING, including bugs and cleaners….many calls to poison control. But they are making progress. Occupational Therapy was extremely helpful. We learned what works and what doesn’t work to help them find the sensory input they need. As they get older, we will do more OT with them, so they can learn for themselves what to do when they are feeling “restless”. We have never locked them into a closet or beat them with a stick, and there are many theories as to why a person develops this disorder. Their birthmother did drugs while pregnant, they were born premature, Savannah remained in hospital 2 weeks after birth and Sierra was in the NICU for 4 weeks. All of these things could be factors. Who knows what other factors (including genetic) could be involved in Bubbly’s diagnosis…just a thought. Good luck. If you ever want to talk about it with someone going through it too, call. 🙂

  3. FPM, My son also has Sensory Integration Disorder which is a part of his Autism. I know how difficult this can be. Boston (my son) is constantly bumping into things — walls, people — to get the sensory input that his little body seeks. Of course we’ve tried many things, from weighted backpacks, to tight-fitting clothes, in order to help with the input that he craves. It affects so much of our life, that’s for sure. As far as reading goes, there is an AMAZING book called, “The Out of Sync Child,” and then its sequel, “The Out of Sync Child Has Fun.” Both of these books are great and helped us so much when we first found out about his sensory problems. The first book is a great overview and is VERY informative. The second book is full of activities to help your child get the sensory input in appropriate and fun ways — things like wrapping up very tightly in a blanket, creating that deep pressure, and rolling around on the floor.OT is also great. They can give you great tools to use at home. In the meanwhile, you might want to check into doing some brushing on her skin (with a surgical brush or something similar), and joint compressions as needed (at least every morning). Both of these techniques are very common and can help kids with sensory problems quite a bit. Swinging is also great for kids who are sensory-seekers — it helps calm them down and ground them. I hope that some of these suggestions are helpful. I know that labels/diagnoses are difficult, but the great thing is it gives you a direction to go, so you can move forward to get your little Bubbly some help. Good luck, I’m rooting for you. :)p.s. Congrats on the date night — so lucky!

  4. Thank you both!!! See why I love blogging. I get a new book recommendation and will be investigating OT options in the community for our daughter. Thank you again!!FPM

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