To All the ‘Members’ in the House…

An update on the FORMER kids of Luckyhill:  Sorry, there is no update.  Almost all are back with their families now.  I won’t update on Abe and Aninda until I have something FOR SURE to share.  I do, however, hear that they are alright.  I continue to encourage Kingsley, as always, to choose the right.  Which leads me to my next issue…

I travel to Ghana with at least one or two members every time I go.  Fun.  Some of my BFFs are members of the LDS Church.  Bonded through our experiences in Ghana.  A lot of people assume that FPD and I are members.  We have Family Home Evening (only it alternates Tuesday/Friday nights because of my work schedule.  Hey, we’re non-members, we make it up as we go), all the Ghanaian (and the older American) children wear CTR rings.  It would be any easy assumption to make.  For me, it’s a non-issue.  I would “let” my children explore membership at any church they feel fits their beliefs.  They’re my children, no matter what.  Shocking, but if one of my children was led to Hasidic Judaism, I wouldn’t disown them.  I would merely explore it with them in an attempt to understand why.  This country was founded on freedom of religion.  I take that right very seriously, as long as you’re not preaching hate, I’m ok with what you believe.

So, in an attempt to understand the beliefs of my travel mates, I read the Book of Mormon.  Then, I didn’t get it.  So, I read the Mormonism for Dummies.  After all, I had NO clue who Joseph Smith was, so the Book of Mormon wasn’t meaning much to me.  I know now.  And, I’m glad I know now.  I’m glad I know about “giving talks in church” and “Relief Society”, because I have a daughter who is keenly aware of ALL of it.  She is 8 years old, so she asks me every day when she should be baptized.  Oops, in our church it’s not until you’re a teenager.  Our church has no Relief Society.  We have missionaries, but it’s usually something you do when you have a family and you’re already done with college.  She constantly talks about going on a “mission”.  We don’t have a Liahona, so she reads the one that she picked up at the Temple in Accra when we stayed there (it has seen better days).  She sings “I am a Child of God” and knows all the songs from the songbook that we saw at the Distribution Center but I didn’t buy for her (which I kick myself for every single time she asks me to take her to the “Distribution Center to get it”, uhhh…I have NO clue where the nearest Distribution Center is).  One of the other nurses I work with went to BYU, I quietly asked her is she is a “member”.  She laughed and reminded me that it’s not the Stonecutter’s, we don’t have to whisper.  I laughed too.  I went home and told my daughter, she nearly peed herself with excitement.  She had no idea that there were “members” here too.  Incidentally, I asked her where she thought all the “white members” were coming from if they weren’t coming from the U.S.?  She laughed and shrugged.  We giggled together at the thought that church membership would be limited to Ghana.

Herein lies my dilemma, and please don’t send the missionaries (I’m kind of frightened of the idea),  I told her I would take her to the LDS Church where we live (we actually have TWO wards).  I LOVE that she loves what is familiar and feels like home.  I can only imagine how much those songs and the worship feel like “home” to her.  But, she says she doesn’t want to go.  She wants to go to “our family church”, which is one I have been worshipping at since ResponsiBoy came home.  I love that church.  It feels like home to me.  But, I witnessed a miracle in Ghana as well, and have NEVER felt closer to God then I did when we were staying at the Temple.  I told that to Giggles, who told me she just wanted to “be in the family church”.  Does she want to go because she feels “at home” at our church?  Or, does she want to go because she wants to fit in with what she thinks defines us a family?

Do I just keep taking her to our church and see how she feels, or do I continue to encourage her to do what is obviously in her heart?  It’s sad that I missed so much with my daughter.  If this were ResponsiBoy, I would know exactly what his heart was telling him.  I don’t know Giggles’ heart yet, we’re just scratching the surface.  I don’t want to push her.  But, I do want her to know that we encourage her to worship how she chooses.  What do you think?  Thanks!

who wants only helpful comments, you can criticize, but be kind!!!

7 thoughts on “To All the ‘Members’ in the House…

  1. You can get pretty much anything available at a distribution center online at (I think ) (or look up LDS Distribution Services on Google) and it should take you there. Shipping is free, too. :DMy only advice is to pray for an answer and follow what the Spirit tells you. That is how you found your miracle in Ghana, and I know the Lord doesn’t plan on leaving you now. :)We all love you no matter where you park your car on Sunday. 🙂 🙂

  2. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. In the LDS Church it’s “come as you are” and “line upon line, precept on precept”. Bring the good you have and let us see if we can add to it.And don’t worry, we won’t send the missionaries. That’s a choice you get to make when you’re ready to hear what they want to share with you. And you don’t have to feel obligated to accept anything, even the invitations. We’re big on free agency. :)I’ve got a separate blog about Book of Mormon stuff. . I post “reasons to believe” items there both from an archaeological perspective (my own observations in Guatemala and latest research) and a testimonial one. It might help in getting your mind around the book and its significance.There’s also a worldwide effort this Monday to have a Family Home Evening centered on Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s testimony posted by the Church to YouTube. The idea is to show it as part of our lesson and then “up rate” the video. Hopefully if enough of us do so, it’ll make the front page of as the most popular video. completely agree with you about being closer to God at the temple than anywhere else on earth. Even just being on the grounds! It’s because the temple is literally God’s House today just as much as it was in ancient times (the whole thing being a restoration of the ancient mode of worship). I am blessed to work a temple shift each Wednesday night. My official calling in this was supposed to end after 2 years (this past March), but I’m not volunteering to end it. I like the peace and solace of being in the holiest place on earth, out of the world, for four hours a week, and then taking some of that home with me to my family. We’re happier for it.

  3. You don’t know me, but I know and love Kara, so that’s how I found you! I just want to let you know that whatever the Lord leads you to do will never be wrong. Ask Him for the answer to what is in her heart and He will tell you.Much love! 🙂

  4. Hi! My first thought was that she sounds very mature and intelligent for an 8-year-old. She knows she wants to be part of the family church. But why not have a Mormon friend invite her to their church at a time that doesn’t conflict with your church? That way she can take a look and see if she’s interested.

  5. Boy, Becky, you’re sure getting a lot of responses to this post (even my darling niece Laurel who faithfully reads your blog). I say just keep patiently opening those windows… Our time in the temple housing was very spiritual. I felt so much inner peace and strength every time we would pray together before we took any step. I kind of miss that. We’ll send Ali a subscription to The Friend magazine which is a kid version of the Liahona.

  6. There’s not much I can add to the great advice above, but I would recommend praying with your daughter about which church to go to. I’m glad that Kara is sending her a Friend subscription, and that Shannon suggested looking online (which is what we do, since there are no nearby Distribution Centers in my area of CA). You can also get a CD from there that has all of the Primary songs recorded on it (both instrumental and with voices) and it’s super cheap (they only charge cost), which she would probably love! It’s called Children’s Songbook.You are incredibly important to Heavenly Father, and you have been led on this journey and experienced the things you have for a reason. Like so many others said, pray, and you will know which way to turn. Love,Colleen

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