Getting There.

This blog is like a metaphor for life.  Do you see my header up there?  It’s TOTALLY the fly in the ointment (as my grandma would say).  It’s not centered.  I have no clue how to center it.  I try to make life pretty and there’s that one little thing holding me back.  Today, the blog banner, or fly, however you want to say it, is my Bubbly.  She has informed me that she is REALLY angry today.  REALLY ANGRY.  And, so it begins.  The rest of the day is already shot to heck just because we’ve started off with so much anger.  She’s watching Dora right now because I have NO clue what else to do with her.  She’s just SO angry about everything.  I’m giving us both time to cool down before I try to engage her in something again.

Occupational Therapy has been coming to work with her at her preschool (which I happen to own, so the communication is excellent).  They have no problems getting her to engage, but I do.  Bubbly’s therapist has suggested that she will probably always push me the farthest, hate me the most, because I refuse to give up and let her anger swallow her.  I won’t let her sink into that hole, the one where she gets SO angry where she just disconnects and starts to rage.  Her teachers have eight other kids to deal with in the room, they can’t constantly be watching her for the signals.  They don’t know when she’s headed down that road.  I watch her, I have to, all the time, for any sign that we’re headed toward that cliff.  Can I tell you something?  It’s exhausting.  I’m tired.  I just wish she was “normal”.  All my other kids are “normal”.  She is my fly.  A lovable fly, but a fly nonetheless.

What am I going to do?  This is going to get better right?  I have to keep telling myself that it already has gotten an little better, so we must be getting there.

–FullPlateMom,
who really dislikes flies in the ointment.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. It will get better. I have a son who was like that, so hard. I always loved him, but some days I didn’t like him at all. He would always push, but I would never give up or ever let him get swallowed up in his anger either. And you know what? It DOES get better. You DO get to the point where you will feel their love on a DAILY basis. It just takes a LOT of time and patience. I used to joke that I prayed for Patience and God sent me my son. And now (17 years later), I can say it worked!

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  2. It will get better. At least she is able to tell you she is angry. Savannah was our “angry” one, then she would become quite the bully scaring even her sister 5 years older than her. With OT, she got so much better, but it took time and it took us figuring out how to help her cope with her anger. Sitting on the porch alone is what she likes to do now when she gets angry which is so much better than biting, hitting and bullying! She also likes small, dark places to be alone…like a tent. She likes to crawl into the closet or under the desk to be alone. We would drape a blanket over the desk for a door and just let her watch a movie on a portable DVD player until she felt better. She really has come a long way, but she is 5 now, it was much harder at age 3 and 4.

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