I’m Out.

I think everyone who reads this knows that my three Ghanaian children came from intensely difficult circumstances.  Especially our Bubbly.  She will have life long scars, both emotional and physical, from what was done to her in Ghana.  The details are her story to share, I blog about her here because this is a journal for her about how far she has come (because she has come SO far), an outlet for a grieving mother and a warning to other parents who might fall prey to the same monsters who did this to her.  Regardless of how people want to interpret this, I don’t blog about the “intimate details” of any of my children’s lives, or any other child for that matter.   I share only what I want you to read, there is A LOT about my kids that I don’t blog about.  While it might look like I’m sharing everything, I’m not.  There is so much more to their stories that is just theirs to share.

Bubbly is on a path to healing.  The GhanaDuo are doing fabulously.  It’s time to let go of this nightmare, the one that has been quietly creeping up and stalking us since we got home.  It’s time to let go of the “friendships” that I thought I had made through their adoptions.  The people who helped create this nightmare, just like I did, yet have never reached out once as we found the path to healing (or whose only contact was to tell me to shut up and move on).  There are 11 children that are currently being sponsored by the Ghanaian NGO that I’m now working with.  Those children need to be the focus now.  Something positive to move forward with.  A connection to my children’s former life that doesn’t include sadness or abuse, but a positive outcome for their friends that are like family.

When we started, we had 17 children on our list.  Two will now be adopted, so their new mom and dad are sponsoring them.  This NGO doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with adoption.  Three were deemed ineligible because they aren’t poor at all, well, not by Ghanaian standards anyway.  Their parent was paying to send them to school, thinking it was a good situation that would get them to America.  Sad.  That’s not what adoption is about.  They are back with their family now.

Then, there was one whose problems I can’t fix.  It breaks my heart.  One whose ties to this nightmare are so deeply embedded that I don’t know how to untangle them.  And, other Americans continually get involved as the Ghanaian government tries to step in.  These are Ghana’s children, not mine, not yours, they belong to Ghana until they set foot on American soil as citizens.  This child never will.  Because of continued contact with one specific person, who Ghana no longer wants help from, she won’t be helped by the government anymore.  The nightmare will never end for her.   All the phone calls, letters and emails won’t help her.  I can’t continue to fight with other Americans who won’t understand that there are proper ways, through Ghana, to help Ghana’s children.  This child is lost in a way that you, or I, can’t ever fix now.  Sickening.

I have never blogged the “intimate details” of the raid on Luckyhill.  Just factual information, to let Kingsley know that we were watching and we knew what he had done and to bring together the people who had all been lied to by the very people who were supposedly “helping” us.  Those blog entries served their purpose and are all archived now.  Making the blog private would go against it’s very purpose.  And, it can still be passed on by other “invited” guests.  I try not to say anything here that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face.  My kids can read the entries when the time comes, so that they know how much time and energy was devoted to helping their friends.  I can’t imagine how painful it would be for them to think that I hid while all this was happening to their friends.

This has to end for me at some point.  I can’t continue to clean up messes people constantly create after they create them.  The last year of my life has been like plugging holes in a dam that is just waiting to burst.  I have seven children that need to be my life’s focus and 11 more that need to come to the forefront, so they never end up back at LH.  The orphanage is shut down.  As much as Kingsley likes to tell people that he is “seeking permission to reopen it”, that’s never going to happen through any sort of legal channel.  He can run his school if he wants to.  No reputable Ghanaian NGO is ever going to sponsor a child to attend Kings International.  Relatively soon, aid to Ghana will be limited to registered NGOs, which makes sense.  This would have prevented this whole mess.  Aid shouldn’t be delivered by people who have no idea how to deliver it, no clue about the culture, and who aren’t even meeting Not-For-Profit status in their own country.  So, Kingsley has lost all his real income.  Like I said before, you can’t squeeze blood from a rock, and you can’t beat cedi out of poor children.  The money just isn’t there.  
This school will continue to be the horrible hellhole that it was when my children attended.  It’s sad that Kingsley even thinks he has support.  But, other Americans continue to lead him to believe that.  In that way, he can’t be stopped.  He continues to “friend” people on FB and reach out for support from Germany, where he is now claiming he can have the children adopted to.  Go ahead and try, Europe is WAY more strict about adoption than the U.S. is.

This will be the last mention of Luckyhill here.  All the previous entries about my trips will be re-worded to have the name removed.  All the support that I will offer will now go through a registered NGO in Ghana and only to children that I have personally travelled to meet.  This is the way it should have been done all along.  If you want to help a country, you have to work through the government, no matter how you feel about them.  It’s their country.  And, when the government tells you they no longer want your help, then you stop.  There are plenty of countries in the world to work in, there are 147 million orphans out there.  Why continue to support Luckyhill?

who is declaring “peace out” to all this insanity.

One thought on “I’m Out.

  1. All I have to say is that I think you are one awesome chick! I hope to meet you someday in person. I consider you a friend and an angel. You have gone the distance for these kids. We all wish we were super moms who could do everything at home for our families and save the world while we are at it. The truth is you can save your little part of the world by being the best mom you can be and focusing on those little faces that you wake up to every morning. Your the best! Lots of Love!

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