Feelings.

There has been a lot of talk about feelings at our house lately.  Bubbly is learning to express her feelings appropriately and the Duo is slowly learning how to express them at all.  To them, FPD and I probably seem like a giant ball of crazy.  We’re constantly trying to model expression of emotions for them.  We tell them when we’re angry, sad, happy, excited, frustrated, etc.  It’s working, slowly.  Yesterday, Bubbly came to me and said “Diva took my thing”.  I turned to Diva and told her to give it back.  No dice.  Bubbly said “she’s still not giving it back, I’m getting mad”.  It was like a little warning to me that she was on the edge of just sitting down in a heap and crying.  I commended her for telling me how she felt and quickly retrieved her “thing” from her 2-year-old bratty sister.  It has taken us 10 months to get to this point.  I can only imagine how long it will take the Duo.  Every time we discuss “feelings” with them they shut down.  Blank stares.  Feelings?  We don’t have them.  Yes, yes you do.  Everyone does.  Hoe are you feeling?  You look sad.  Blank stares again, which are now met with frustration (by me).

These two are doing SO well compared to where we could be.  We’ve been home almost three months and I see signs of moving in the right direction.  We’ve had bumps in the road along the way, but we always bounce back and come out stronger.  I thought there would be rages, there haven’t been.  I thought there would be opposition or defiance.  There hasn’t been.  For the most part, they follow the same rules that the other kids do.  Having ResponsiBoy and Middle-Middle for brothers has truly been a lifesaver.  Two boys that LOVE school, try their hardest to make everyone around them happy, and if they disobey, are genuinely sorry.

This week was filled with small hurdles.  Giggles learned that it’s not really appropriate to love your teacher as much as your mom, so discussions of switching her class for next year began.  She doesn’t know anything about it yet, but I have had many meetings and emails about it.  To me, it’s more important that she comes out of this emotionally healthy than if she’s sad for a day that she doesn’t have the same teacher next year.  Bonding with FPD and I is the most important thing in her little world right now, or at least, it should be.  We’re not where I would like to be yet, so we need to work on it.  While Bubbly is learning to express her emotions with words, she is also peeing her pants more.  Not out of anger, just because summer is busy, she likes to be outside, and doesn’t feel like she has to go until it’s too late to get there.  Sad.  So, if she goes all day today without peeing her pants, she gets to have her toenails painted.  Since the last debacle, she has been begging for this.  Little rewards, everyday, until we’re back on track.  I know more hurdles are coming as we transition out of school.  I can feel the tension in the air.  Giggles doesn’t know why summer break is such a big deal.  She has no idea she’ll be out of school now for as long as she has been in.  But, she knows change is coming, and she doesn’t like it.  ShyGuy continues to be, well, shy.  He’s excited to start Summer Extended Learning.  He’s taking a literacy class for six weeks.  He really wants to “go to school”.  This will be good for him.

There’s so much excitement on the horizon as summer comes.  The kids will be dedicated in church next week, all of them together, as the Full Plate Family.  There are summer sports camps and swim lessons.  There is VBS and small vacations.  I have so many feelings as I watch another summer come.  It’s another sign that they are getting bigger and growing up, time marches on.  Sometimes, it’s a little too fast for me.  I’m excited about all the things to come.

–FullPlateMom,
who feels excited, happy, sad and…tired, all at once.

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