Hard Truths of Some Adoptions.

I just read a post on the New York Times adoption blog that really spoke to me. I’m linking it below.

This article is another must read for parents of older adoptees who lived in loving foster families or adoptive parents of children who still have living birth parents.  Somedays I wonder if I did the right thing by adopting three older children who had birth parents who loved them.  Bubbly has a dad who loves her dearly.  Giggles and ShyGuy have a mom who adores them.  They lived a nice life in Ghana compared to many.  They weren’t orphans who begged in the street.  They were receiving a terrible education though (Giggles was supposed to be entering 4th grade when she got here and read like she was in KG) and they were extremely malnourished (we just visited the dentist, it wasn’t pretty).  For uneducated, poor children (especially girls), Ghana is a cruel place.  Children, and adults, in their situation tend to end up abused, just like the children (and some of the birth parents) at Luckyhill.  In a country filled with desperation, people tend to prey on the poor and weak.

Just like my children who were adopted here in America, my Ghanaian children’s birth parents made a choice for them.  They have a right to make that choice.  They know that this choice gave them a chance at an education and a future they could have only dreamed of.

I love this quote from the article… Children who have a family can still need a family, and if they’re really, truly lucky, may end up with both: a family here in the United States, where whatever our remaining issues surrounding race and class and physical differences may be, they’re not the road blocks they represent in many other countries; and a family in their first country, a link between past and future and an incentive to go back and cement that tie.  

–FullPlateMom,
who will continue to cement the tie.  

One Comment Add yours

  1. As a parent of two adopted children, one domestic and the other international, I agree with what you have said. Even if a child has a living parent, it doesn’t mean that they are better off in their biological family. I talk to my children about their birth families frequently and hope that someday they will come to understand the sacrifice and love their birth families had for them by making the actual choice to place them for adoption. Choosing what is best for your child is heroic and I will never take that away from my children’s birth families. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

    Like

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