Sometimes I think a reality show on the ridiculous sleep patterns in our house. Seriously, they need to get out one of those night vision cameras and let tape roll. It’s unreal. Here’s a little sample…
7:30 pm–The Diva falls asleep while I’m doing her hair because her Diva-like self refused to nap all day and she has basically dropped.
7:45 pm — I finish the row of hair that I’m doing and FPD carries her to her bed, puts her into her jammies and tucks her in.
8:00 pm — Bubbly decides to pee her pants, which she often does when she is overtired. I remind her of this gently, clean her up and tuck her into bed.
8:15 pm — I let the rest of the children know that they have 15 more minutes to watch ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’, which they have promised me time and time again will NOT cause nightmares. I decide that Giggles’ toenails need a quick polish change, she and I like to match and I got a fall mani/pedi on Friday.
8:30 pm — Toenails finished, movie goes off. Children head for bed. They wait in line to brush their teeth in the upstairs bathroom. I ask them why they are waiting at this bathroom, I’m given some bogus excuse which I am smart enough to know means that the movie has scared them and they will have a rough night. They are reminded to be quiet, as the bathroom is right outside the Diva’s room.
8:35 pm — ShyGuy, in his not so shy way, decides to shout (at the top of his lungs)… “GIGANTOBABY” because some perceived atrocity has been comitted by his younger brother. The Diva wakes up crying. ShyGuy gets scolded and begins to wail as well.
8:45 pm — All of them trudge off to bed. ShyGuy continues to whimper.
8:50 pm — I finish picking up the Living Room floor and tucking the Diva into our bed with her “phant and Raffe” (pink elephant and stuffed giraffe). She doesn’t look sleepy. FPD has tucked the boys in, now it’s my turn to give kisses. Giggles decides to sit with Diva while her toenails dry. She is a good big sister.
9:00 pm — Kisses and one story are finished. I head over to lie on ResponsiBoy’s bed and ask him about what he’s reading.
9:15 pm — I come up and tell Giggles it’s time for bed. She and I walk to her room together. She wants all the lights on and the door open. Darn. No more movies like ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’.
9:45 pm — The Diva is still wide awake and loving life. She asks me for a snack as I try to type my paper that is due in 48 short hours. I tell her no. She wails.
10:00 pm — I give up and try to go to bed.
10:30 pm — I am roused by a kick to the kidney. I take the Diva to bed.
11:00 pm — Giggles needs another drink of water. She feels like she should ask first. Since this is the policy for the little kids in our house, so that they don’t pee the bed, I thank her for asking and tell her to go for it.
12:00 am — Diva cries and I go get her again.
1:30 am — Middle-Middle comes upstairs to tell me that he has had a bad dream, needs to pee, and that I should come down and hear how loud GigantoBaby is snoring. He pees, I go. GigantoBaby is snoring loudly (poor guy and his allergies). I roll him over and flick on his cold air humidifier. That kid sleeps like a rock.
2:45 am — A noise from the Diva’s room (where she is NOT sleeping) reveals that Bubbly is stuck between her bed and the wall. I free her and rub her back for about three minutes. This kid also sleeps like a rock, when she sleeps.
4:00 am — FPD checks his pager, which illuminates the entire room with it’s LED face. I tell him it hasn’t gone off all night. He rolls over, complains that there is ALWAYS a kid in our bed and goes back to sleep.
5:45 am — Middle-Middle comes upstairs to tell me that ShyGuy is doing exactly what he told me he wouldn’t and is sitting in his bed crying because he is too afraid to get up to go to the bathroom. I tell M-M to please try to, gently and kindly, encourage him to get up and walk down the brightly lit hallway to my room to ask for help. I tell M-M I’ll give ShyGuy three minutes to try, and then I will go and get him. I sit on the staircase to listen. M-M goes and reminds him (I can hear how sweetly he does it, which makes him smile). I run back to my bed to wait for him to ask me (we’re trying to teach a lesson here). I hear ShyGuy get right out of his bed and ask me to come with him to the bathroom. I smile at the progress we are making and take him to the bathroom. He spends 10 minutes telling me he doesn’t like ghost pirates. Yeah, I should have thought of that. I silently curse myself out for being so stupid as to allow that movie to even be on. I walk him back to bed where I turn up the dim lights and give him his favorite Clifford book.
6:00ish am — I fall asleep.
6:25 am — M-M is awake and wants breakfast. Ah well. The alarm will go off in five minutes anyway. I tell him he has responsibilities before breakfast (i.e. bedmaking, teeth brushing, dressing). He trudges off to do it. I check the weather online and then begin laying out clothes for the four who go off to school first. Giggles thanks me for her pedicure again. I smile at that too. No problem. She wants to talk while I lay out her clothes, so we take a little time to do that before I go and help with the insanity that is we refer to as “prepping the boys” in the morning.