A wise friend, who has been there and done this whole older child adoption thing, told me that having her kids write out their feelings was sometimes an easier way for them to get what they were feeling into words. Duh. I should have thought of that. After all, what am I doing right now?
For the last few weeks Giggles has been keeping a journal. It’s dual purpose. She gets to express her feelings while working on her writing. FPD found her journal yesterday as he was cleaning up. She and I have worked on it together before, so she knows that I read what she writes, because we talk it over when she’s finished. She’s even had ResponsiBoy help her write before because he is some kind of spelling savant. FPD came and showed me one of her random entries last night. In amongst all the princess stories that she writes and illustrations of random things like the airplane we rode to America on, she had a tiny little one-liner that nearly broke my heart.
I don’t like talking about my feelings either (again, hence the blogging). Talk therapy would be a joke for me. Should I take her to it and have her sit there and stare at the therapist for an hour? Maybe. For now, we’re giving her some time. We talked to her about what was said at the conference. We focused a lot on how she is SUCH a smart girl. She is reading at grade level now (after reading at a high kindergarten/low first grade level when she came here, she now reads at a low/mid third grade level, do you know how proud I am of her?!? Wickedly proud). She is awesome. We want her outside to match her inside. Happy and proud. She just can’t find the words. Sometimes, neither can I. How did I get a daughter that is so like me in so many ways? In fact, I have THREE daughters that are so like me, and each other, that it’s scary. All of them are fiercely independent, highly motivated, stubborn little women. Makes you really ponder the divine design of the family, doesn’t it? Especially since not one of them is biologically related to each other, or me. I’ve never met three girls who were more destined to become sisters.
who hugged Giggles and told her not to worry about telling her she loves me, I’ll do it enough for the both of us.