Fusion.

It’s an odd thing to try to fuse together children who have no shared history.  Giggles and ResponsiBoy do really well most of the time.  They are now six months apart in age, and only one grade level apart.  We attribute a lot of their non-competitiveness to the fact that they are opposite gender.  Sometimes they rub each other the wrong way though.  They’re siblings, what did we expect?

Sometimes Giggles rubs me the wrong way.  ResponsiBoy is a born leader.  I am a leader, not a follower.  ResponsiBoy has an inherent need to stand up for the little guy.  I also feel this pull.  Giggles doesn’t.  She is a sheep.  She was born in a country where bullying is a necessity, where everyone is the little guy.  So, she tends to pick whichever person she thinks is stronger and ally herself with them, even if they’re the world’s biggest tool.  I’m going to be honest, it REALLY pisses me off.

She constantly buddies up to the meanest girls on the playground.  I understand that this is a survival mechanism with her.  It makes sense, if she’s their “friend” they can’t pick on her then, right?  Secretly, I kind of hope they pick on her so that she knows that her idea has some flaws.  So far, she’s just too much of a people pleaser/popular to get picked on by the girls that matter.  Today these girls decided to turn on her brother.   Giggles didn’t exactly join in.  But, she sat idly by, and while not actually participating, she still didn’t say anything.  This infuriates me too.  And, this isn’t the first time this has happened with her and ResponsiBoy.  The girl is a TOTAL sheep.  I dislike sheep intensely.

I’ve used biblical examples of bullying, and how people who stand idly by are no better than the actual bullies.  I’ve drawn real world parallels for her, like how her sister’s orphanage in Ghana was shut down by people who wouldn’t stand by and let the abuse she saw continue.  I’ve used historical examples (FYI: I give a GREAT developmentally appropriate speech about Nazi Germany and how some really brave people stood up and helped the Jews).  Nothing seems to have worked yet though.  Maybe we just need to give her time to feel comfortable enough in her own skin to stand up for herself and others.  For now, she was a bully on the playground today when she stood by and did nothing while her “friends” picked on other kids (including her brother).  So, she’s waiting in her room, thinking about her choices.   Her dad will be home and, together, we’ll dust off our ‘Choose the Right’ speech.  Great Caesar’s Ghost! I’m sick of giving that speech.

–FullPlateMom,
who would love your constructive input!  No bullying allowed!

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