Mother’s Day with Children who Have Already been Mothered.

On Mother’s Day my thoughts naturally gravitate to my children’s first mothers.  There are six of them, two of whom I’ve never personally met.  The four faces of thee women I did get to meet are etched, timelessly, in my memory.  I’ll never forget what they looked like holding or hugging their children goodbye.  The grief, the heartache and the hope that was reflected in their eyes the day I walked away with children that would never call them mom again is something that words can’t do justice to.  Mother’s Day is a bag of mixed emotions for me, as I’m sure it is for my children, especially for the ones who remember their mother and are now celebrating another one all together.

There was no discussion of any of this yesterday.  Selfishly, I wanted to enjoy my day.  I would imagine that when you have a baby, you don’t have to think about anything but how you should be celebrated on Mother’s Day.  All the children that call me ‘mom’ had a mom before I came along.  It’s one of those things that is a definite hardship about being a mom to adopted children.  I’m not one to be all sunshine and roses. I prefer honesty.  To be honest, on Mother’s Day, it makes me sad to think about the loss those women must be feeling, and it gives my gut a little squeeze to think that my children would be thinking about anyone but me.

I know they are though.

So today we’ll be talking about their birth mothers.  We’ll be discussing how thankful I am to their first mothers, because I am.  Even when I get that little pang of jealousy, I am grateful to them, because if they hadn’t made the selfless choice, no one would be calling me mom at all.

–FullPlateMom,
who has been richly blessed by six very different, but very wonderful, women.  

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