The Process.

It’s the day of our first home study visit.  We have another social worker, yet again.  This time we decided to go with a Hague accredited agency since we don’t have a clear idea of which country we would like to adopt from or if we would just like to do foster care.  These visits are always totally nerve-wrecking for me.

It’s a crazy process.  It’s crazy to ask someone to meet you a few times, pop into your home once or twice and then make a judgement about what kind of parent you are.  How could they possibly know?  We are asked to fill out a mountain of paperwork, and to get references from five people (none of them relatives).  I guess that gives them some idea, but it just still feels wrong.  Not because I feel overly scrutinized either.  Yeah, sometimes I feel that way.  Other times, I wonder if I’m scrutinized enough.

I know people have bio kids that they aren’t prepared for every day (trust me, I’m a peds nurse, I see babies have babies), but this feels like such a big deal, even after doing it six times.  I know a lot of large families that have had issues getting a homestudy provider that will look past how many children they have and see what they have to offer.  I know some states (I’m talking to you, Illinois) who make blanket statements about how many children families are allowed to have, be it through foster care or foreign adoption.  So far, we have been blessed by homestudy providers that have really been willing to listen to us.  I hope that continues today.

–FullPlateMom,
who prays for openmindedness today.

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