Anyone who reads this blog knows that Ghana and I have a love/hate relationship. I tried to come up with a good analogy for what I feel for Ghana, but there just isn’t one. Ghana gave me my kids, but it also abused them, and me, pretty terribly. How do you define a relationship like? We have a connection, but it isn’t necessarily a healthy one.
I’m looking for healing for the kids and I. I’m hoping that events like this weekend will lead us to that. This weekend we got to spend some time with families who have been where we have been, whose kids have lived in the same place mine have. It was nice. It was nice to share stories about what we love about Ghana, but it’s also nice to commiserate with other parents about how hard it is to live life after Ghana.
Giggles didn’t like the idea at first. She rejects all things Ghanaian, and pushes away all people remotely connected to her country of birth. She started the weekend this way.
She wasn’t so sure about other kids from Ghana, especially not older ones. Unfortunately, Lucky Hill taught her to feel that way. She chooses to reject anything and everything Ghanaian. Well, until this weekend.
She left today with a really cute set of Ghanaian flags painted onto her fingernails. She was very proud of her nod to her homeland manicure. It’s a small step in the right direction.
This one was happily oblivious…
Then there’s this one. It was so hot this weekend that when we got to the park to begin the festivities she turned to me and said “are we in Ghana now?” Uhhh…if a two hour drive got us to Ghana, life would be a lot different. She has no actual memories of Ghana, not the way Giggles does, but the scars are there, just as deep. I spent a lot of time talking about her to other parents, trying to divine from other parents who have been at this longer than I have what the future might hold for her. The short answer is, no one can possibly tell me that. She is a girl like no other.
I did get some much needed moral support though, some time with other moms who helped me recharge my batteries and realize that I can do this. That was nice, and so needed.
who is ready for the challenges tomorrow will undoubtedly bring.