We May Shatter.

Updated pictures came this week, along with the receipt for our I800.  I expect the actual approval to follow this coming week.  We are now within a hair’s breath of our girl (well, compared to where we came from).  We’re just trying to put one foot in front of the other, but it’s like living with a time bomb.  When will I go?  How soon?  Will Chi*a expedite this paperwork?  If so, I could go next month.  If not, it probably won’t be until the month after.  The unknown is rough.


How will she be when she gets here?  Will this be like it was with Bubbly?  How rough has she had it?  How scared will she be?

Trying to live and love,

With a heart that can’t be broken,
Is like trying to see the light with eyes that can’t be opened.
Yeah, we both carry baggage,
We picked up on our way, so if you love me do it gently,
And I will do the same.

As I unpacked baby girl clothes and carefully hung them in the closet this week, I realized how tiny she is.  How fragile.

We may shine, we may shatter,
We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.
Cause we are glass.

It would be dishonest of me to say that I’m not scared.  I loved her the second I looked at her.  With this one, I knew she was mine.  With the others, it was like falling in love slowly.  I’m scared of being hurt.  I’m scared of watching her hurt.  

But, I promised to be strong.  

I’ll let you look inside me, through the stains and through the cracks,
And in the darkness of this moment,
You see the good and bad.
But try not to judge me, ’cause we’ve walked down different paths,
But it brought us here together, so I won’t take that back.

I won’t take it back.  

who is glass.  

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