I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t see her tiny face and melt a little. She is the personification of cute, and she is such an amazing survivor. She is living in an orphanage right now. A seemingly nice orphanage, but an orphanage nonetheless. Her paperwork was prepared by the government because she has zero chance of survival past early childhood if she continues living where she is. I am by no means implying that we are doing something amazing by adopting her. We are gaining a wonderful daughter by being afforded the opportunity to bring her into our home. She is gaining a family, and a chance to have the surgery that will save her, by being adopted. Win-win, right? We think so. Some people don’t. It’s hard to hear this. It’s hard to hear people greet the news of adoption with either silence or a raised eyebrow and a questioning look. “Another one?” they often say.
Yes. Another one. One less child in the world that needs a family. One more child that I have the privilege of calling mine for a short time. Another one, indeed.
As I sit here, trying to figure out why anyone would look at our family and be reluctant to congratulate a family that is adding a child to it, I wonder, what does it cost you to say you’re happy for someone else? What is so hard about it? People often comment how I light up when I talk about my kids. Sometimes, I talk about them so much that I feel bad. I feel selfish, but I can’t help it, my kids are my world. Dolly will be no different. When you see me and I’m talking about how excited I am to see Dolly’s homeland, to FINALLY hold her, to love on her, to get her little heart fixed, what does it cost you to say you’re happy for me?
What does it cost you to say you’re happy for Dolly? You’re happy she’ll finally have a chance to be healthy? A chance to have seven siblings who will love her like she’s never been loved? A chance to be educated? A chance to live? You choose, because to me, all that is exciting.
We’re blessed to have a group of people that are happy for us. I am greeted by teachers at my kid’s school everyday that ask about Dolly. Parents of the FullPlateKid’s friends ask too. Even other kids ask. Is she okay? Do we have an update? Is there any progress in her case? They tell me they’re praying for us. They ask if they can do anything. They offer hand me down baby clothes or toys. We’ve even had people offer to help FPD while I am gone. Amazing. It overwhelms me. On those days, I feel like she’s loved by someone other than us.
I take solace in that. We’ve forged a family in SO many non-traditional ways. When your biological family turns their backs, God makes sure there are other people to step forward and comfort you. Amazing. Next time I’m surprised by someone’s life changing news, whether it be a pregnancy, a marriage or another event all together, I’m going to think about what it costs me to be happy for them.
It will cost me nothing, but it will mean a whole lot.
who would like to say ‘congrats’ to all of you. No matter what happy event is happening in your life, I am happy for you.