My daughter is a walking, talking miracle. Well, to be totally honest, she doesn’t quite walk yet, but she does a mean bootie scoot. She talks though. She talks up a storm. I’m sure you’re getting sick of hearing what life looked like for her six short weeks ago. So, I’ll skip that part. Suffice it to say, her life in China was WAY different than it is here.
We get a lot of comments about Dolly. She’s here now, so most everyone thinks she’s super cute. I mean, look at her, how could you not? Before she was here though, when she was only a little picture on my FB profile, well, things were different. I happened to run into someone at Target recently who I have known the majority of my life. She commented on how cute Dolly is. She made little squishy noises at her and told me how blessed I am. I smiled politely and thanked her.
I turned and rolled my cart away. The whole time, I thought to myself…
You told me not to adopt her. You told me to leave her in China. You told me to let her die. You told me to stop looking for children who need me. You told me I’ve done enough. You told me I already have too many children.
It’s hard not to hate someone like that. She’s the very definition of two faced, right? She’s a hypocrite. She says one thing and then acts another way when the baby faces her.
I don’t hate her.
I pity her.
She’ll never know what it’s like to watch a child go from what Dolly was to what Dolly is. She’ll never know the pure joy that our family has as we experience everything new that Dolly experiences. She’ll live her whole, safe life, never knowing that helping others live can help you do just the same thing.
I’m not saying everyone should adopt. In fact, I have a post brewing about exactly why everyone, especially everyone who claims to be Christian, shouldn’t. What I’m saying is…
It’s a sin, a horrible injustice, whatever your religious, agnostic or atheist heart wants to call it, to just turn your back and stop looking. Even if you turn your back, it doesn’t make it go away. It doesn’t make the starving children just poof, disappear. It doesn’t give the homeless a place to stay. It doesn’t educate the girls. It does nothing.
I’m not a fan of nothing. In fact, that’s something I do hate.
I hate when people have nothing. No food, no home, no education…no family.
Will we continue to adopt forever? No. Our home has one more bed in it. It happens to be in the room of our only child who has his own bedroom. He wants to share it, because that’s his contribution. He’s 10, and he’s going to change another little boy’s world simply by sharing his bedroom. Because of his heart, we will likely fill that bed. Someday (which usually comes quickly for us). We had decided that even before we knew that there was a chance we could heal Dolly’s heart. Our son chose that. This is the way WE choose to live. It’s not for everyone. It shouldn’t be. I would never tell someone else how to live. I expect other people to do the same for me.
When it’s time to be done adopting, I’m not going to just stop. I won’t just turn my back. The advocacy will never end. This blog, the FB posts, the fundraisers, the money raised and distributed, won’t end. The addition of children to our family will, but that doesn’t mean I’m done. This is what I choose to do. What will you do? When you look, you’d be surprised how easy it is. I’ve seen 8 year olds put up lemonade stands for their classmate with cancer. I’ve seen college students buy an extra notebook when they’re at the book store and donate it to a NGO that sends school supplies to girls in Afghanistan.
I’ve seen the smallest gestures change the world.
My point is don’t stop looking.
who gives a big bronx cheer, like the ones Dolly is now SO good at giving, to the lady in Target.