Broken heart, Tess

I Get It Now.

I think I may have hit my max on number of nights I can spend in the hospital with no break.  This might define me as a wuss, because I know some kids are here for months, but had this hospitalization have gone on any longer, FPD would have had to come and spell me.

I miss my own bed.  I miss silence and privacy while I’m sleeping.  Man, I miss my other kids.  I can see now what having a chronically ill child does to families.  In the middle of the lobby today, in front of Dolly’s precious fish tank, I broke down and cried.

Over Valentine’s.

Yes.  Of all the things to cry over, I cried because the kids Valentines aren’t done yet.  I have 120ish circles to cut and about 10 of them are done.  I was supposed to do them in all my “spare time” here, and it never happened.  My Dolly has needed me every second.  She never really “slept peacefully” the way I thought she might.  So many things about this hospitalization haven’t gone the way I thought they would.  Some have far exceeded my expectations, some have shocked me.

It has shocked me just how much strain this has put on our family in such a short amount of time.  For the first time in a week, I saw my seven other children.  Prior to tonight, I had talked to a few of them on the phone for only a couple of minutes.  They all seemed fine, excited to tell me all about their happenings at school, but it struck me just how much of their little lives I had missed.

What if this had gone on longer?  What if I had a child who required MONTHS of hospitalization?  I feel for the families that do.  And, tonight, as I pack my baby’s things to go HOME tomorrow, I’m praying for you.

who is a little broken tonight.

I forgot to post a waiting child yesterday!  In honor of Congenital Heart Disease Awareness week, please take a look at today’s waiting child.  

This child is waiting in China and is on CHSFS’ designated Waiting Child list.  He was born in September 2010 and is described as being outgoing, talkative and lovely!  He was Tetralogy of Fallot and has yet to have any heart surgery.  I have seen his tiny little smile, and he is ADORABLE.  Please take a chance on this little guy!!! 

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