What the Future May Hold.

We met with our local Cardiologist yesterday about our Dolly.  It was the first time since surgery that we’ve met with any Heart folks.  We checked in with our loving pediatrician last week, and she said Dolly is doing great.  The Cardiologist agreed, she’s just never as enthusiastic as our regular doctor.  I like enthusiasm.  I like to be told just what a miracle my baby is.  I don’t think Cardiology is ever going to do that quite as much, because they see so many miracles.  Whereas, Dolly is MY miracle, so I like to be told we’re special.  I think that’s just a mama’s way.  We all think our kids are A-Mazing.  I know I do.

We had a very frank discussion about what’s next for our girl.  We have fixed about a third of her issues.  Her backwards aorta and pulmonary artery are where they should be.  Her lungs need to heal next.  This was where we got the ‘realistic’ speech again.  We got this when she came out of her first heart cath.  I hate the realistic speech.  I understand that a medical provider needs to be real about what the chances are of healing Dolly’s damaged lungs.  I have come up with a standard reply now.  I say…

We choose to believe that our girl’s lungs will heal and we will move on to a full repair.

Inevitably, I get ‘the look’.  It’s an almost imperceptible shake of the head and then a sly smile that says ‘Alrighty then, if that’s what you choose to think, so be it’.  It’s patronizing, but it is what it is.  They can believe what they choose to and I will believe what I choose to, even if it’s not their version of ‘real’.  In this house, we do hope, we do miracles and we do LOTS of love.  I think that makes a big difference.  Our little girl came back from major surgery faster than any other child had before in the history of the large children’s hospital that performed her surgery.  To that, I feel like shouting…

In yo’ face!!!!  

I don’t though, because that might get me a one way ticket to the sixth floor (where they house the people who shout completely random and inappropriate things at the doctors).  I’m kidding.  Kind of.

We also had a discussion about the next surgery.  Yes, there will be AT LEAST one more like this last one.  This one, we hope, will fix the large hole that lingers between the bottom two chambers of her heart.  The question is whether this hole can be patched or whether we will need to re-route Dolly’s heart to give her overworked body a chance to accommodate for this hole.  Time will tell on that one.

We did get this bit of news though.  The powers of be have put their heads together and spoken about that dreaded gaping hole, and it has been decided amongst them that the hole is best attended to here.

In beautiful Boston.  That’s right.  Dolly and I will be making the trip to Boston next year, at some point, God willing, to fix the big hole.

I needed a couple of days to process this news.  I lost it a little at first, but I think I’m owning it now.  We’re right back where we were before.  We have this looming, so for now, we’ll do what we did before.

Live out loud.  Right now.  In the moment.  Like every day is our last, because God makes no promises about the future for any of us.  All we have is today.

who says…bring it Beantown!!!  We rocked the last CICU.  We’ll rock yours too!!!  

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