Adoption, Ally, Cam, Juliana, Trauma

And What a Three Years it has Been!!!

It was three years ago this week that I wrote a post entitled ‘Home’ where I celebrated coming home with our GhanaDuo by sitting on my bed and watching cartoons in my pink bathrobe.  That bathrobe is long gone (it has had several counterparts since its demise though, because a FPM wardrobe staple is a fuzzy pink bathrobe).  I described that homecoming as feeling like I had been hit by a truck.  It did. 

Sometimes, miracles feel that way.  It’s my firm belief that God has a plan for all our lives and that sometimes hard lessons are part of that plan.  Our second Ghanaian adoption, and subsequently learning what had really happened to our other Ghanaian daughter during our first, was a hard lesson.  It taught me so much though.  I truly believe God handed me two HUGE miracles in my life and that this adoption was one of them.  Getting Dolly out of China alive was the second.  I don’t know if there is a lifetime limit on miracles.  If so, I’ve probably reached mine, and that’s okay, because I am so grateful for what I’ve been handed. 

Even as we struggled daily to heal the hearts of the kids we were handed that day, it has always seemed like a miracle.  Their strength, their courage, their willingness to love unconditionally when life has been so hard to them in their short beginnings, all of this is such a blessing.  I know there are parents out there who email me daily, who private message me through Facebook, who post to the same groups I do, that are struggling.  If there is one thing that I could tell them, it’s that you’re never alone. 

There isn’t one behavior, one struggle, one situation that we’ve experienced or been in with our children that someone before us hasn’t experienced.  If you’re reading this now and you’ve reached your breaking point and you’re thinking that it is going to be impossible to heal your child’s heart, I just want you to know that I’ve been there too, and occasionally I cycle back there.  This isn’t like climbing a mountain, where there is a finite end point where we can throw up our hands and say “I did it!”  Over the last three years, I’ve learned that this is probably never going to end.  I am probably always going to be dealing with my children’s beginnings in some way, shape, or form. 

After three years, I’m okay with that, because the way I’m forced to deal with it is changing.  Every day, it’s getting a little easier.  I’m finding more and more joy in the people my children are becoming.  They’re understanding me, and I’m understanding them.  We took the long road to bonding, but we’re getting there.

To Giggles and ShyGuy, on your three year Full Plate-iversary (because you had a family before, this is just the day I was blessed enough to watch you join ours), and to Bubbly, who is celebrating 3 1/2 years with us: 

Thank you for being who you are.  I can honestly say there isn’t anything in this world that has taught me more about life and love than being your mom has.

who is looking forward to seeing what the next three years will bring. 

2 thoughts on “And What a Three Years it has Been!!!”

  1. I wish I’d known there wasn’t a mountaintop sooner. I kept expecting that there would be a day, a single moment, when they would be mine and we would be “finished.” I have now learned that such a moment doesn’t exist and you have to relish the lots of little moments in order to make it through. Congrats on three years!


  2. Thank you for the congrats. I think what you said is key. We needed to learn to enjoy the little moments too, the small successes as they happen. Otherwise, the bigger picture will get you down every time. My heart just breaks out there for parents who feel like they’re “failing”. I want to hug them and guarantee them that their child is better off than if they had never entered their life.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.