The Follow Through.

We set some really tough consequences for one of our kids earlier this week.  This doesn’t happen a ton around here.  There are a lot of natural consequences, but sometimes a parent has to step in and impose some too.  One of the boys is experiencing some mom-made consequences over the next two weeks.  A lot of these revolve around the idea that he is working on earning back my trust.

I won’t lie, some of these are very hard to follow through on.  For a kid who came from a hard place, follow through is even more important that there are consistent consequences for any given action.  My kids can always answer the question, “what is going to happen now?” when it comes to consequences. Always.  FPD and I try to keep a very structured framework for if this…than this.  They know that while nothing comes in the way of school, extracurricular activities will be the first thing to go.

This is really hard when it affects other kids though.  Sometimes, we’ve promised another child that ours will be at their birthday party.  Sometimes, the sports team is negatively impacted by our child’s unexpected absence.  We do try to weigh that in.  But, mostly, we’re in charge of making sure our kids are good people.  So, if it’s not going to create too much heartache, they’ll lose it.

This is then hard on FPD and I.  We’ve got it down to a science now though.  If we were planning on eating out, we still go out, the offending child just eats a sandwich from home.  If they pout enough to ruin everyone else’s fun, they sit in the car.  If we were going to all go to the movies, the offending child stays home with one parent.  Sometimes, I’m sad about that, but usually we’re seeing something I’m okay waiting to see.  Its hard, but once the consequence is put out there, it’s there to stay.

If we didn’t follow through, they would own us.

–FullPlateMom,
who has to be careful.  After all, she’s WAY outnumbered.  

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