Here and Gone.

It’s T minus two hours until Dolly and I head to the airport to get on a flight that will take us to Boston to meet with some of the best pediatric heart folks in the world.  I’m happy, sad, grateful, stressed and super tired.  It has been a long week.  The boys, minus Mighty, rocked the school talent show last night, which was very fun to watch, especially after what happened earlier in the day.

Our family lost its only remaining furry friend.  Bosco, our nearly 14-year-old beagle, had to be put to sleep.  He has been gradually deteriorating for awhile with multiple joint problems, but over the last 48 hours, he stopped being able to walk.  We made a call to the vet, the kids left school and we allowed the ones who wanted to be with our dog to be with him at the end.  I took the rest of the kids to Target where we bought last minute items for my trip to Boston, wandered the aisles, and cried a little.  We went out to eat as a family and then took the kids to the Talent Show.  When I arrived home, his empty dog bed was staring at me.  He was here, and then he was gone, after 14 years, just like that.  A part of our family that we petted and loved every single day.  It was an odd, horrible feeling.  The kids felt the same way as we comforted them, tucking them into bed telling them that’s the good thing about being a family of faith.  We can know, in our hearts, that our dog is running pain free, and that we’ll see him again someday.  Death is an odd concept to try to understand for a child, mostly because of the permanency of it.  No, in this life, you won’t see him again, what’s left of him is what’s in your heart.

Throughout the day, I had been trying to find the whereabouts of an orphaned little boy in China.  He had been listed for adoption with an agency and his condition had reminded me so much of our Dolly, that we had committed to praying for him.  In our home, we have a prayer board hung on the door of the pantry.  You can’t eat anything without this reminder…

Prayer Board


I want my kids to have that reminder, just to say a quick prayer, send up a good thought, for the kids who continue to wait, day after day.  Yesterday, during the dog debacle, I received word that the little guy I had been looking for, whose face is pictured in the bottom right corner of the pic, is no longer listed because he died.  He died in China of the very condition that Dolly has managed to survive, the one that will leave us traveling this week to search for the ultimate cure for her…total repair of her heart.  It seems so random that she was found, while he was lost.

As I walked through the day, much like the kids, weirded out of the permanency of all of it, I wondered about this little boy.  Whose heart will he live in?  His birth parents?  Probably.  His nannies?  Maybe, they probably see a lot of here and gone in their work.  Mine?  For awhile.  He wasn’t mine to mourn, but as a member of the human race, he should be.  The whole world should mourn the loss of this little boy.  He never had a chance.  The what might of been is so hard to think about.  He could have been someone’s son the way Dolly is our everything.  Hug your babies today, and pray for a world where there is medical care for the ones who don’t get to live in any human hearts.

–FullPlateMom, who knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he lived in His heart.

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