Broken heart, Tess

This Day.

That’s the only thing I could think of to title this post, because I will always think of it as this day.  On this day two years ago, with a huge lump in my throat all day, I packed all my new baby girl’s things into a tiny pink suitcase, and mine into a less tiny one, loaded a wagon into the car, and wondered what else I might need for our hospital stay.  I was getting ready to watch all my other kids say goodbye to our sweet girl, to watch them all fade away in my rear view mirror.

I wondered if I would bring our girl back alive.

Then, there was the after.  We rolled her into surgery and she came out like a champ.  We had a couple of setbacks, but overall, she busted it right out of there.  I have to remind myself of this.  As much as I celebrate this day, it also brings the lump in my throat back.  I start to doubt.  I start to wonder if God puts a cap on the number of miracles He hands to one woman.  If that’s so, have I reached mine?  Because, there was that time I got my kids out of Ghana.  There was that time that Ghana gave me a daughter so broken that I wondered if she would ever live a normal life and she has.  There was that one time I had a daughter declared terminal and she thrived.  Maybe God is done listening to me ask for things when I am so wholly inadequate?

That’s ridiculous, I know it, but I wonder.

On this day, which is also the eve of her birthday, I have to remember that miracles are limitless, and all I can do is enjoy what we’ve already been given, every single day.

We went from this, where she was nearly two YEARS old and the size of a 6 MONTH OLD.

To this, your developmentally typical almost 4 year old.


Living every single day like it’s all our last.

–FullPlateMom, who can’t wait to see what the next two years will bring.

1 thought on “This Day.”

  1. Love this and love you miss Becky!! You are the sweetest, kindest, full plate woman I’ve ever known and you’re right!! G-d’s little miracle box is limitless and full of love! Keep going my friend!!


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