Broken heart, Tess

Locking It Down and Packing It Up.

We’ve been in lock down for the past few days.  Dolly has gone hardly anywhere besides her beloved yoga class.  She has enjoyed a lazy day at home today and we’ve started the process of organizing everything that needs to be done for me to be gone an indefinite amount of time with her.

The hospital where she will have surgery is a 90 minute drive from our house.  Last time we did this I moved in with her and never left.  If her stay goes past ten days, which I can’t imagine it won’t, then FPD and I will begin the process of trading off.  He will stay for ten days, then I will stay for ten days.  This will go on until she is discharged.  It will be difficult, but it will be worth it.  She’s scared.  So scared.  We all are.

We’ve been in this place before.  This place of marking time.  Before Surgery.  After surgery.  The place where we have no idea how life will change for us.  We hope that after surgery will look like our girl with a fully functioning heart.  Her native heart.  It would be a miracle if she comes out of this with no complications.  We’re expecting setbacks.  We’re ready for them.  We’re ready to be her village.  Because, she is so very worth it.  She is so loved.Blue Bows

Mem Day Cookout-3And she is so loving.  Her primary concern is her “baby.”  Will Poppy be lonely? What if she needs me? Who will play with her?

We have answered her by asking her to fight like hell to get out of that hospital, and to reassure her that we will be by her side the entire time she is recovering.

The rest of us are okay.  We’ve put on our battle gear.  We’re keeping busy with a massive home remodel, our usual extracurricular activities and our many community service projects.  There are moments though, cracks in my armor, when doubt creeps in and I think about her not being able to fight like hell.  She’s so small.  She’s so fragile.  What if she just can’t do it?  What will we do?

I can’t think about that.  So, I have kept pushing forward, packing our bags, getting absolutely everything I can off my plate at work, planning one last birthday before for a child who didn’t get his big 10th party.  I was doing so well.  Today, I broke down a little.  The tiniest things were making me upset.  I hadn’t showered, I hadn’t run, I was just…sad.  Yesterday was my pity party, and today will be a new day.  I have to focus on being positive so that Dolly sees only the positive here.  She picks up terribly on fear now, being the intuitive old soul she is.  This is about her.

There are things that I will do differently during this hospitalization though.  First of all, she LOVES visitors now.  We will welcome them as soon as she has her breathing tube removed and has been declared stable.  The days were so long last time, and I was there, never leaving for 10 days straight.  This time, it’s spring.  I’m going to go outside, take a walk, and eventually, leave her with FPD.  I need to sleep in my own bed for awhile.  I need to not be the only one doing this.  She needs her whole team on board now.

So, to all of you out there who comprise her team,  you know who you are, most of you have rainbow unicorns riding a moped as your Facebook profile pics this week, I’m officially asking you to rise for us.  Let’s pack up and take this show on the road.  Because at FullPlate Manor, this is our rubber meeting the road moment.  We need everyone on board if we’re going to get our girl through this.  We’re asking for a few things.  First of all, please visit us if you would like, I’ll send you the details once we’re through the worst of it.  Hug our other babies.  Cheer us on via social media.  Pray for us, send good thoughts and LOTS of positive energy.

–FullPlateMom, who is SO grateful for all her rainbow unicorn moped riding peeps.

4 thoughts on “Locking It Down and Packing It Up.”

  1. Let us know the address that we can send something to sweet girl if you are accepting anything. Much love from the Champion family and every prayer and good thought. If anyone deserves everyone’s prayers it’s Tess.


  2. I get this so much…. I wish I was closer, so I could visit you in the hospital and hug your neck. We will be praying for your precious Tess. I understand your feeling of fear and being scared. We are there with Paisley, and I just don’t know how to deal with the thought of losing her… Praying for you and for your family. Be brave, mama!!


  3. We live down the road from you, and am sorry to say have yet to have the chance to meet you, hopefully one day soon. (You have opened my eyes to the thought of adoption, thank you.) We have seen FPD and a few of the kiddo’s at our local library. My son and I had a chance of meeting Dolly and Mighty, the others were busy finding the perfect books! Anyway Dolly was full of sunshine and spunk and joined John and I like they were best friends. John is almost two and just couldn’t get enough of her, she made him laugh and smile the entire time they were together. Your daughter is absolutely adorable and I hope the best for her during this different time. If we can do anything to help while you are away please let me know.


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