It was one week ago right now, like at this exact minute, that I whispered goodbye to Dolly, that I told her how many people were praying for her, and that she returned my comment with a “I can feel it, mama, and I feel SO strong.” It was one week ago that the 6-8 hour surgery we had planned turned into 11.5 hours. In 24 more hours, it will be the one week anniversary of everything going terribly wrong.
It feels like a year.
It feels like a minute.
We are fighting to get back. Every day brings new challenges. Every day brings new promise. This is the life I chose when I chose her. That doesn’t make it any easier, and I don’t want to hear about it anymore. There is no difference between me, the adoptive mom, and the mom down the hall, who gave birth. I wish everyone understood that. Most of our team does, but some makes comments that are lacking in empathy. At this time, I’m not strong enough to deal with it. So, I’ve learned to say, “Let’s focus on her now, and not her origins. She is no different to me than a child I gave birth to.” That brings the focus back to where it should be, on where we are now, and NOT where she came from. I don’t care about that in this moment.
Every day is a step toward home. I keep my eyes on that prize, knowing this is temporary, and that SHE, with us, is forever.
–FullPlateMom, who is going to take a nap while she still can.