Today I watched my daughter walk down the hallway. Walk. 72 hours ago at this time, she was still on a ventilator. 48 hours ago at this time, she couldn’t sit up. 24 hours ago at this time, she could barely hold any weight at all on her weak little legs. Kids recover quickly, I know that. They see it here in the CICU frequently too, but after everything she went through, she has people who know a lot about a lot pretty surprised.
One week ago, I know God was in that room with us as she went into cardiac arrest.
I’m not saying He stopped her from dying, I don’t personally believe He works that way. But, He held her in the palm of His hand as we walked through this, providing comfort at a time when little else could. And, as I watched her walk down the hospital hallway today, I stood next to her children’s minister, crying, as my tiny sweet girl trailed her IV pole behind her shaky little body as she walked. I’m pretty sure He was smiling at the joy I felt seeing something I wasn’t sure I would ever see again.
Today, I know God was in that room with us as we all watched her come back from the brink.
Tonight, as I was watching my daughter play happily, I heard the chimes go, the same ones that sounded for us at about this time last week. I know God was in that room, just five doors away, too. I don’t believe in a God that chooses one child to live, and one to die. I believe in a God that loves all children equally, one that hears the anguish of every parent when those chimes ring. One that sometimes welcomes children to Him who just can’t fight anymore.
Tonight, I know God was in that room with that mama as she asked them to please, please save her child.
I saw the scene play out from the outside looking in this time, watching what it must have looked like from the hallway when they came for my daughter. I saw that same cart roll up. I saw the same defibrillator. I saw the same back board. I watched no less than 15 faces, worried, hurried and determined, work with grace and compassion to save a little life.
I know God is in that room with those people every single time this happens.
And, God bless them for continuing to do this work. I am in awe of the people who have saved, rehabbed, and loved on my girl these past nine days. There is nothing that will ever, in all of eternity, come close to repaying them for the gift I have been given.
So, I’ll order them pizza when I get home, and that, and my undying gratitude, will have to be enough.
–FullPlateMom, who hopes they like pepperoni.