We’re entering the waining weeks of summer. The kids are done with swim team and we’re getting ready to go back to school. I woke up the other day and felt a little blue. I wondered why. I recently changed jobs, let go of YEARS of nursing practice to run my own show in my own small business. Change and I aren’t great. Could that be it? No, not really. As challenging as it is, I’m enjoying that change more than I thought.
Could it be the impending adoption? Yes, sometimes those depress me. Not the idea of adding a child, that’s exciting, but the process would depress anyone. It’s long, it’s arduous, it’s full of frustrating bureaucracy. I live for the next step, and when the next step comes, I’m immediately longing for the next. It’s a never ending want to get to a goal that feels very, very far away. But, I realized, for now, that’s not what’s got me down.
The feeling of melancholy is simply because of the passage of time.
Some people count the days until their kids go back to school. I never do. Yes, they squabble. Yes, they’re loud. Yes, they spend ALL DAY messing up my house. I’ll be so lonely when they’re gone, and the time until they’re truly that seems closer and closer. Not just gone for school, but gone out on their own.
So, we’re in the season when I’m clinging to them. I’m enjoying every minute they’ll spend with me. We’re doing adoption paperwork together, raising money together, chatting about life together. I’m making them be together. So far, they seem to be enjoying it.
We spent last weekend at the zoo. All of us along with an awesome family that we’ve met through the China adoption community.
Tess loves everything we do “with ALL of our family.” I think she can feel the days of that fading as well. She’ll be leaving me this year to head for 4K too. How did that happen?!? I’ll be left with one at home. Well, until Gigi arrives. It’s the one that keeps me on my toes though. So, way down deep, I know I won’t be bored.
Then there’s Bo. Didn’t he just get here?!? He just came skipping in from a play date and told me “I’m ready to go for a sleep over.” I told him that I’m not ready for that. Not for a long while. What a stinker!!