I’m over at The Red Thread this morning blogging about what meeting Tess in China was like. This was a hard post to write. My sweet Tess absolutely HATED me when we first met, and I was absolutely petrified of what our lives might be like with her. I won’t lie, there were a couple of times on that trip that I doubted whether or not I should be continuing this adoption, whether it was truly the best decision for our family. I am so ashamed to admit that.
By now, you have probably heard me talk about disruption (the process of giving back an adopted child that has been placed with you). I don’t believe in it. Ever. I know that sounds harsh, and like I’m setting myself up for gigantic karmic adoptive failure in the future. Maybe. But, if you educate on any and all possibilities in adoption, knowing that this means forever, then aren’t you much less likely to disrupt? I think so.
My experience isn’t an easy read. If this is the first time you’ve adopted, you’re going to want to close your laptop or the window and walk away. I get that. You shouldn’t do it though. These behaviors can be even more extreme in older children, kids who haven’t ever had a family and need more time to get used to the idea of losing everything the know.
I watched two children lose their families in China this week because, in my opinion, there families were ill-prepared. There are a wealth of resources available to you through your adoption agency, through the internet, and through other adoptive parents. Please, take the time to read the good, the bad, and the brutal.
–FullPlateMom, who doesn’t want ‘one less’ to become ‘one more’ ever again.