Every single time we have adopted, I have been given the amazing privilege of watching my new child’s world come alive. Sometimes, the process is slow and painful. Lots of times, it feels scary. Always, it’s amazing.
Every time is different. This time is no exception. Gigi’s journey has been a long, hard one. Getting to us wasn’t easy. She was in as good of a place as we have seen thus far, but it was no family. Part of coming involves her beginning to understand what love is, what limits are, and what language is.
When we adopted Tess and Cate, whom I traveled to get, they attached to me immediately. In fact, they clung to me like I was a lifeline in a sea of change. It hasn’t been that way for Gigi. She had women in her world who loved her before. I took her away from them. That has to hurt. This time, she has clung to Cam. That hasn’t been easy for me, or him. But, it is what is best for Gigi right now. Part of coming alive involves learning to trust. Slowly, her walls will come down, and she will learn to love me too. I have to have patience.
In the interim, I’m relishing the other small victories. We had some spontaneous signing today. She is learning that her hands hold the key to telling us what has been locked inside her head and heart for so long. The amount of time she spends in her own little world is decreasing. She’s coming out of her shell. With patience and understanding, we will watch her learn to live.
She will learn limits. She will learn why I have to set them. She will learn how much I love her.
–FullPlateMom, who is taking her turn waiting now. Lord knows, Gigi did it long enough.