I’m going to try something new in 2016. There is a wonderful link up opportunity through Adoption Talk. On the first and third Thursday of every month, I’m going to write here about one of their pre-selected topics. Today’s topic was ‘Getting to Know you.’ When I saw the topic, I wondered, do you? Sometimes, I wonder if even I know me anymore. I write a lot about the kids here. In fact, that’s the entire purpose of this blog, to document my journey with them, to write their milestones, as if this were a baby book/life journal all rolled into one.
Today though, I’m going to write solely about me. Not me as a mom, or me as a wife, just me. I think I’ve lost myself a little in the last few years. It started with our adoptions from Ghana. It continued right through Tess’s last surgery. Now there is Gigi. The last few days have been extremely eye opening when it comes to how hard I’m going to have to fight for this girl. Trying to put services in place for her hasn’t been easy. It will be easy, however, to lose myself to it.
So, I’m going to work hard not to.
Hi, my name is Becky. I put myself, and my marriage, last in absolutely every avenue of my life. Lately, that has gotten ridiculous. I’m going to try to ease up on myself, and on Joe, as we find our new normal around here. I also want to do absolutely everything on my own. I don’t ever ask for help. It has cost me in my relationships, it has strengthened relationships. The people who really love Joe, the kids, and me, have seen us, really seen us, and offered to help. The other people have walked away. I have a tough time with that. I lose a piece of myself a little every time that happens too.
I’m going to work hard not to.
I am going to learn to ask for help more, because, I’m really bad at it.
I love all things crafty. I love making things for other people. I love reading, especially when its not assigned. I’m a year out from having gotten my Master’s degree and it sort of ruined me for reading for fun. I want to find the joy in that again.
I love my children, but until I really get to know them, and they really get to know me, I’m not a fan of other people’s kids. I don’t take crap. You’re in my house and acting like a nit wit, you’re getting called on it. The few friends of my kids that have been allowed into our house all know that and we have a healthy respect for each other. Once we’ve established that, we have an open door policy here. Consequently, it’s usually noisy and busy here. I like it like that.
I don’t like being alone.
No shocker there, I’m sure.
I don’t know that I’ll ever like it. I’m incredibly lucky that I don’t think I ever will be. I’ve got Joe, these crazy kids, and hopefully, about a hundred grandkids in the future.
–FullPlateMom, who will have a whole lot of birthdays to remember.