Attachment, Trauma

Building Your Bookshelf

In case you’ve missed the last few days of posts, I am in Texas doing some TBRI Practitioner Training.  If you follow me on Facebook you’ve been getting more pearls of wisdom then you probably ever wanted.  I am in love with this training.  There isn’t one thing that was taught today that doesn’t enter into my sphere, whether that sphere is my home life or my professional life.

I loved how engaged people were on Facebook today.  So many of you are as excited as I am.  Other families need this as badly as I do.  When I learned about TBRI we were in a horrible spot with one of the kids in our home.  Horrible enough that I was ready to give up.

Yesterday’s post was to key people into the need to just start.  Start healing anywhere you can.  This is a holistic approach to Complex Developmental Trauma.  Different kids will have different needs, and I am NOT a licensed counselor.  I can only speak to our process, for our daughter.  We found that some of the techniques that worked with her worked with our other children, some didn’t.  We had to change it up when that happened.

Once we took the first leap to really work toward healing for ALL the kids in our home I read, and read, and read.  I’m going to link the books that I read first here.  We now have a bookshelf in our home for attachment related resources.  I go back to it every few months for a refresher.  I also refer to it when we’re in the trenches, because again, this process isn’t linear.

Here are the books I started with.  Maybe they will help you too?

As you know, this is the one that started it all.


This book gave me SO much insight into just how trauma impacted my children’s brain functioning.  The amygdala, it’s a tricky little beast.


Oh my gosh, the sensory needs.  SO many sensory needs.


And the food issues.  SO many food issues.


Understanding why they hurt is so important.  These behaviors, so many of them come from a place of hurt.




So what do you do about it?  Not punish them, that’s for darn sure.  It doesn’t work.  It doesn’t teach them anything.  It’s not connecting anyone.



I also really value Conscious Discipline.  The techniques I use to lay out logical consequences when clear  expectations are violated involve taking a little from each approach.

I always try to keep in mind the TBRI principles though.

  1.  Connecting with my children
  2. Correcting their behavior in a loving way that will…
  3. Empower them to make a change.

Connecting isn’t always easy.  Tomorrow’s blog post is going to be devoted to all the things we do in our home to connect with our kids who didn’t have secure connections before they came to us.

–FullPlateMom, who is ready to make more connections tomorrow!





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