Isabel, Jax

Birthdays Here, and Birthdays There.

Today is a special day.  Our first home study visit is done.  I’m currently working on a post about exactly what that’s like, having a social worker interview all 11 of your kids about the prospect of having a 12th, but today we have a birthday in the house, and, one abroad.

It is Jaxen’s 11th birthday today.  My sweet, giant, teddy bear of a boy is 11.

A few thousand miles south of us, in Colombia, a little girl we hope to call ours someday is turning three.  It’s an odd feeling to love someone you don’t even know and to imagine what celebrating future birthdays night be like, while simultaneously mourning the ones you’ve missed.

Isabel seems loved, or at least that’s what we tell ourselves, because right now all we have is hope.  I hope that her foster mom is wishing her happy birthday, even if she has no idea what that means.  I hope that if there is no cake, or singing, that at least she feels loved.

Next year, I hope we’ll get to be together.

For now, cupcakes to the universe, in honor of my two babies, and their birthdays.

–FullPlateMom, who will try not to cry.  There’s too much to celebrate.

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