We spent a quiet, but not uneventful, Spring Break at home. We had plans to travel to the Motor City for Spring Break, but Isa burst onto the scene, and it is best for her to have some time to get used to our routine at home.
She and Jax both celebrated their birthdays on March 27th. Jax chose dinner out at a buffet, because what could a pre-teen boy love more than all-you-can-eat pizza? Isa isn’t really sure how to ask for something special, so we did what we thought she would love and Joe and I practiced some Colombian recipes for her.
I did my very best with empanadas.
We found out shortly before Isa’s birthday that her heart defect is FAR less complex then her adoption file seemed to indicate. She has a hole in her heart, but the damage that was done to her lungs by it seems well managed by the medications she was given in Colombia.
Her hips are another story. What we were told might be Cerebral Palsy (CP) might actually be untreated hip dysplasia. That makes me sad, but knowing that her heart defect isn’t as severe as we thought is comforting as we move forward figuring out how to fix this.
The days here are quiet as the winter rolls out and spring rolls in. These last, cold days have brought a whole lot of hardship for some other families in our lives. Our hearts hurt, deeply, for those families, one in particular. It is so hard to watch other people suffer as we are just enjoying a new life, together, with Isa. I feel tremendous guilt about what I have, versus what they have now lost. The quiet is, in part, out of respect for their loss.
We are seeing changes in our careers. Joe is a Spanish Interpreter. Recent anti-immigrant sentiment, and mass deportations, are making his job difficult in many, many ways. A change may need to happen. My job isn’t easy right now either. We are a delicate balance here in this house of many. Uncertainty, when you have this many people depending on you isn’t a good feeling. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt the weight of quite so much on my shoulders.
I remind myself that we were made for times like these, but that it is still hard to live in these times. The stress has nothing to do with Isa herself. I wish that there could be more joy in her arrival and less worry about the future of the family in general. I can only hope that she doesn’t feel the stress of all of this, that none of the kids do. I have guilt about that too. It’s just how I’m built, for guilt.
The quiet is necessary right now. We are embracing it with new family traditions. Traditions that we hope provide connection.
In the quiet moments, we worked our way through the first book in the Harry Potter series. A new wave of children is so excited to read the illustrated version.